Heartbroken

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    • #5065
      poolgirl
      Participant

      Hi all I’m new to the forum never knew anything like this existed until today.

      My son is now 18 he started experimenting with weed 4 years ago & things have just escalated.

      7 months ago he attacked me physically for the 3rd time so I called the police and pressed charges, he had to stay with my parents whilst on bail. During his 5 months there he stayed clean and attended college started looking for work etc and the future looked promising, but over Christmas he sought out old friends and the drug taking commenced again. He turned on my parents, rendering him homeless so we took him back in and within the week he went back to his old ways so we kicked him out. He went to stay with a friend of his and his habits just got worse. The friends he stayed with have 3 young pre school children and don’t take drugs, they tried so hard with him but he got abusive towards them and refused to stop using, so ultimately they threw him out. I had to have them come stay with me over the weekend as my son owed a dealer some money and put their house on “insurance” so the dealer was threatening them their children and their home. We got the situation resolved but now I dont know where my son is at all and I’m worried sick. I know I can’t help him until he is ready to help himself and I really thought by losing everything and everyone he would question his own choices but sadly this is not the case. He states to people he only smokes weed but his behaviours appear to be that from someone on a more serious drug. He was due in court this week but the cps have decided to drop the case, I was really hoping this would be the shock he needed or that they would impose a drug rehab sentence, but this is now unlikely.

    • #11377
      danman83
      Participant

      Sorry to hear this. Your in a real sticky situation as its your son, but how can he attack you 3 times. Then same again with his grandparents.

      It sounds like hes had everything and has had many lifes as a cat. But to be honest weed dont make u do that., i had it for 5 years, but that was in my teenage years and had a temper thats all.

      Sounds like if dealers are involved, its got to be cocaine. Id try and find him soon as you can. Sit him down. Tell him he needs get some anger management. To stop the drugs and maybe you will let him come back. Just an idea lol its up 2 you what you want at the end of the day. But if its coke, and im 2 month clean today. He needs get off that shit. But i could be wrong

    • #11378
      dnanon
      Participant

      I agree, I think it is more than just weed, especially with dealers involved. If you can try to talk with him. Is he ignoring your attempts to contact? Have you any idea where he could be? Hope you manage to get in touch and speak with him.

    • #11380
      poolgirl
      Participant

      Hi guys thank you for your responses. I really have no idea where he is. We have tried therapy in the past and he did work with YOT they got him some help but he refused to see it through. We tried compromise and even offered to sell up and move so he could start a fresh, but his response was that he is an adult and he can do what he wants and I should just wait to pick up the pieces. I don’t believe it is just weed he is smoking as his behaviours are too erratic and irrational. I feel all I can do now is await the dreaded knock on my door in the middle if the night

    • #11386
      hox
      Participant

      Does sound like cocaine with dealers involved.

      Problem is we cannot help our loved ones until they admit their addiction. It’s a tough one for us waiting anxiously on the sidelines, trying to be supportive but not trying to tell them what to do and what not to. My husband is the same, says he can do what he wants. Moving house wouldn’t solve the drug problem I’m afraid, you can get drugs anywhere. My eyes are wide open nowadays.

      I’m also waiting for that knock on the door. Keep yourself well you are not alone.

    • #11390
      icarus-trust
      Participant

      Hi,

      It is very tough and I feel for you for you as it’s not going to change for him until he needs help. However you are not alone and the guys on this site are great and really supportive, but if you would like some more help for yourself please contact The Icarus Trust.

      We are a charity that provides support to people like yourself who are dealing with the addiction of a family member or friend. We have people you could talk with who are trained and experienced and would understand what you are coping with. Maybe you would find that helpful.

      You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

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