[candi36]

Hello, I’m new here. My OH has drank all his life. He is not violent, just falls asleep. But he drinks to excess. A 12 hour stint in the pub is not unusual. He goes out every day at 12 until about 3.30-4pm. Then he goes out in the evening for another 3-4 hours but recently this can be all night until the early hours. Every so often he will stay in or we might go out for lunch but it’s rare. I think he’s probably drinking 4-5 pints at lunchtime and same again each evening, more when it’s a late night. Recently the pub has had lock-ins and he doesn’t get in some mornings until 1am. I’m working (he is not) and this is stressing me out and I can’t sleep until he gets in. When sober he does admit sometimes that he over drinks but rarely does anything about it. It gets me down. We hardly do anything and if I say let’s go out for coffee he’ll often say he can’t be bothered, but of course he can be bothered to go to the pub. For instance yesterday he went out for “2 pints” at teatime before we were due to have an evening together. He returned at 1.30am drunk. So here’s my problem. I threaten to leave him, I cry, rant, threaten and shout. I love him and don’t want to leave so it’s just a continuous circle. Can I learn to live with his drinking, ignore it even, because we do get on and we do have some good times? He’s a good man, kind to me and generous. There is no violence, just loves boozing and being in the local. I used to drink a fair amount, although had 2-3 days a week no drink. Now I hardly drink at all.

[icarus-trust]

Hi,

Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry that your partner’s drinking is making life so tough for you.

Perhaps you would like to contact us at Icarus Trust as we are a charity that provides support for people dealing with addiction in their family. We have specially trained people called Family Friends and one of them would talk with you if you get in touch. Maybe talking with them would help to answer some of your questions.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

Good luck.

[Author]

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