[twinkle123]

My now ex left me over the Xmas period. It was a bad break up as I knew he was using cocaine and we have a baby together. I cut contact with him and allowed him to see the child supervised at my parents. He has recently reached out to me, admitted he has moved onto using heroine. I’m trying my best to help and support him but I know he is using as I type and it’s breaking me. Just to be clear we are not back together and I have made it clear that will not be happening. I seem to be the only person who he will talk to. His family are not very supportive. He is meeting a drugs worker next week.

[hox]

I honestly don’t know what to say that I haven’t said before. As soon as you start abusing cocaine it’s a relationship/family breaker.

I am in the same situation, as are many others on here. Husbands sniffing coke for one reason or another, usually an upset in their lives as I see it.

The only way you can support him is when he reaches out and accepts he has an addiction. No amount of talking, begging or reasoning will get through to him, cocaine will win in most situations. Try to look after yourself and your babies wellbeing firstly. You can do no other as the cocaine is looking after him. Keep strong and I hope the drugs worker can help.

You will get support on here I wish you well.

[lc100]

So sorry to hear about your situation.

As Hox said, cocaine is a real relationship breaker, it completely changes people.

Hard as it is, you need to focus on you and ensure that you are putting yourself first. By no means am I saying you shouldn’t support him (specially if he is taking steps to deal with the issue) but don’t let it be at the expense of yourself or your child.

I have found through all of this that sometimes you too need to be selfish and put yourself first as they have done.

It’s so difficult where kids are involved too, I have 2 with my ex, and he has just this weekend suggested they “have a break” from each other even though it’s apparently not what he wants. He’s not prepared to admit he has a problem, so I’m lost as to what I can do to help him and them continue or rebuild any sort of relationship. If he doesn’t have a problem, he’s just an arsehole!!

I’m just focusing on me and my kids right now and hope you can do the same. This forum has really helped though and hopefully will help you through the tougher times x

[icarus-trust]

I’m sorry to read your post but you will get good support from the people on this blog.

If you would like more support please contact us at The Icarus Trust.

We are a charity that provides help for people who are being affected by the addiction of a family member. You might find it helpful to talk with one of our trained and experienced people who would understand what you are coping with and may be able to help you find a way forward.

You can contact The Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

Good luck.

[Author]

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