[justmemyselfandi]

Hello, I don’t even really know what to say or how to start but…my boyfriend is a secret cocaine addict and it’s ruining my life, so I did what everyone does and Google’s it and I found you lot. I’m basically writing this just to get it all off my chest, and then I have just one question to ask…sorry if I bore you -.-

So I’ve been with him for 3 years now, I only noticed the issue around a year ago. We have both done coke, MDMA, Weed etc socially, the weed was daily tho. Anyway about a year ago he started lying to me about money, and where it was going, how much he was making etc. Every few weeks he would come to me, say he had to pay some money for insurance, or a bill, or pay a friend, or pay for his parts on his car or whatever so me being me I would help him, (£100 or more each time) a few weeks would go by and it would turn out he hadn’t done what he said and had spent the money on coke. Each time we argue and split up I cry he cries and then I believe him that he can change and will stop. He lies and lies until he an tlie anymore then cries and says he wants to commit suicide…1 year later and I’m still here, stuck in this cycle of bullshit. So the most recent was I am currently starting a new job, and this first month has been very tight, I ended up selling a personal item to pay our electric -.- anyway this guy takes my money, and lies to me saying he was doing a job for his mate and needed the money for the tools to start with etc. He obviously got a bag or two or whatever. I’ve given up on him. He lives here, rent free because he has no job money or fuckingb income. I pay the rent, council tax, sky, electric, food…sometime don’t even have tampons in and can’t afford to get them and he still doesn’t care.

Why is he ruining my life like this? I truly cannot take it. However I feel so bad and guilty for giving up on him. Should I give up on him and just continue with growing myself and moving forward or do I try and save him from this?

[danman83]

Hope your alright mate.. ive got a coke problem. But im doing my best to quit. Im lapsing every 4 week. But it varys it can be longer. And i cant stand the stuff.

Going back to your questions.. he has to want to quit.. and then you can help and support him. Maybe he needs to hit rock bottom. My rock bottom was when i was on a bad downer and wanted to commit suicide. Then the next day i just thought of my kids and what it would do to them. It broke me. But i still have not fully got rid of it.

Either get rid if hes not prepared to get a job, or he keeps robbing or lying.

Or sit him down ask him does he want to quit it? Do you still love or want to be with him? Or just there for his health? Because you have your own life aswell.

He has to sort himself. And seek the help. Im doing a few things to help me.

[icarus-trust]

Thanks for posting. Dan is right that your boyfriend needs to want to sort himself out to be able to get help.

Perhaps you could do with some help yourself and would like to contact us at The Icarus Trust as we provide support for people going through what you are. May be talking with one of our trained and experienced people would help to answer some of your questions and find a way forward.

You can contact The Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the best.

[Author]

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