[alc1990]

Hello, so recently I have been looking up about getting help with my partner who is a cocaine addict, and came across these forums and realised I’m not actually alone… “sigh”

So I have been with my partner for 6 years, have a child who is 4. I am really at a loss on what to do now, I am getting to my witts end with it all, he was doing cocaine when I first met him but as I had never done it I thought it was just a one off when we went out drinking ect, fast forward to having our little one he said he would stop, never did! And then last year took a turn with his mental health, even though it’s not a every day thing and mainly on a Friday or when he has the wrong people around him which I have asked not to have round the house anymore but they still come over whilst on working and some times do it, I just feel like I am losing a battle, I obviously don’t want to call it a day but I am looking at the bigger picture now, like thinking about our child, what I want out of life ect, and don’t want an addict as a boyfriend who won’t do nothing to help himself, we have spoken so many times and he saids he won’t drink as that triggers it but then will still drink to then leads to him getting it, I suppose I’m getting bored off all the excuses now, what an earth do people do? He goes to see someone every month or 2 but it isn’t helping as it’s not continuous it’s just as and when he probably feels I’m getting really fed up and then I hear everything I need to hear as such, as I’ll change, I’ll do this, I’ll do that, I’ll stop! What do I do? I don’t have anyone to talk to as no one knows ect, thank you ???? xxx

[jlbrkme]

I felt you when you said getting bored of his excuses. So far from my experience with my drug addict boyfriend, it’s so hard to believe anything he says. Will yours try rehab? Or an outpatient thing? I hope things work out, and if you feel like you need to leave, then leave. Of course easier said then done as I’m currently trying to build the courage to do that myself.

[alc1990]

Well rehab we wouldn’t be able to afford it privately and apparently there isn’t anything he is able to do rehab wise on the nhs, yeah I’m just getting fed up with it all now to be honest, and it is excuse after excuse, like he wants to be praised for going a few days without it but it don’t work like that with me, as it’s not proving anything to me other than he obviously can’t stop like he saids he can! How do you cope? It’s just an awful situation as you know you will be better of on your own, I know I would be, it’s just plucking the courage to do it xxx

[notmyrealname]

I’m so surprised how little options for help there actually are on the nhs considering how much addiction must cost directly and indirectly to the health service and the economy in general. I get you with all the excuses but the saddest thing is that even if someone is honest and goes begging for help the services aren’t there which is a tragedy considering how widespread the problem is all over. If he’s going a few days at a time that is going good if you are positive about it and do congratulate does he do longer?my partner can’t do more than a day at times, if he did a few days I would praise hoping it would increase, they will only do it when they want to though that the truth of it.

[adam1234]

Hi how you are you getting any further with this situation as I can relate to your partner situation and may be able to help you

[notmyrealname]

Hi I’m not sure if you would class as getting any further as when you think there’s progress it goes back the same . He’s managed the odd days of not doing it but then just ends ok doing it again, how about you?

[adam1234]

Exactly the same to be honest go for a few days then I end up in that trap again takes days to clear your head hurting loved ones with what your doing and it becomes harder and harder some days are easy some are not

[alc1990]

Hello, I totally get it, I think we might have had a little break through, fingers crossed! I get it’s an addiction though hence why I stand by him! Hope you get the help you need too

[notmyrealname]

How are you doing? I didn’t know if your reply was to me or both to alc. anyway I’m here hoping you may have had a good day or two.good luck. You know you can do this.

[icarus-trust]

Hi,

Thanks for posting and I’m hoping that you are finding the forum useful, talking with people who understand what you are going through.

If you would like more help please contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that offers help to people dealing with addiction in their family and we have trained people called Family Friends who you could talk with. They would offer support and let you know what other help there is available.

You can contact us on contact@icarustrust.org

All the best.

[Author]

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