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Oh everyone, so the addict in my life has once again dumped me, I lost my job no income, he was so sincere over the weekend and yesterday morning, then in the evening turned vile I got called all the names under the sun, my parents did also, its like he has a split personality I know he’s depressed as well.
Told me he’ll be happier single.
We were so happy at the weekend I don’t know what I’ve done, he’s saying I’m manipulative and I’m truly not. I feel like am going insane am shaking with crying I just can’t cope anymore
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Hi Shell
I’m so sorry.
Mine is doing the same thing. We had a couple of good days over the weekend but in between them he’s been vile to me. Calling me names, being aggressive, ranting at me and blaming me both for his addictions, everything wrong in his life and for ruining his high! He also says horrible things about my parents, who over the years have been nothing but supportive both practically and financially until he fell out with them.
To be honest I think I’ll be happier single. I don’t think he will as he is co-dependent. So he will enjoy being single and free to do what he wants but not the lack of someone mothering him and doing everything for him.
Stay strong. It’s not you.
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Hi Shell
Sorry to hear that. It is quite natural to feel all over the place and in bits.
One thing I have realised is that with my addict, I give him the power to do that to me and I don’t wish to do that anymore. It’s a turning point when you decide to take back your power and make your own decisions over what you will and won’t tolerate. Draw a boundary/line in the sand…
This split personality thing is very confusing. I liken mine to Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.
You derserve respect. You don’t deserve to be called bad names, to worry for your safety or have him being abusive about your family and aggressive about your dad.
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Hi both
I don’t know if it helps but I also get the same
The always say you lash out at the one closest to you.
My partner has said sometimes it’s almost like if he says all this stuff and I leave then it proves him right that I was always going to leave
I had a long talk with my MIL last night and she’s told me I have to draw a line – I have to stand up to him and say no you are not saying that to me.
It’s so hard when you love an addict as I’m finding out. The illness takes over the person we know them to be and we end up bearing the brunt of their unhappiness.
As I’ve found with my husband unless this week – they have to absolutely hit rock bottom to realise they need to find up
On Sunday my husband made some analogy about how he drinks:takes stuff as armbands to keep afloat and not drown
I said to him no. Absolutely no. They aren’t the armbands. Those things are the things drowning you and making you sink.
As friends and family have said to me this last couple of days “think what you want. Don’t just accept this, think about your well-being too”
I’ve told my mum some of it
He’s told his parents everything
He’s also told two of our friends (a couple)
This support network will make it easier for us all I think.
It’s taken a long time to get here though:
Sorry for all the babble:
Just remember – we are not alone. It’s so hard being the partner of an addict, and so hard being an addict too – but we have to find support and find ways to remember it’s not our fault xx
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My husband also told me he would be happier being single and then called me an idiot . Then once he is fully sober it’s like it didn’t happen and he showers me with love . I don’t understand why anyone would want to do any of this crap if fighting constantly happens .
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