[navy]

Hello

ive been active on this site for over a year which I cant believe I’m still here.
my OH is an addict. He had promised so many times that I eventually left him before he realised that I couldn’t cope anymore, he persuaded me to come back (love) so I did however it’s been a few attempts. Yes I’m still here trying to understand however I’m at the stage of why am I trying? Why is my life impacted? Why do I have to do things? Why should I make changes?

apparently we are on day 7 -8 and it’s worse than day one!  He had slept and when awake eaten then slept again.

my question is how long does this stuff take to get out of your system and you start to feel a bit of normality being a normal human being wanting to do things with your OH and enjoying being with them. Not feeling so tired?

thank you for reading

Navy

[thistim3]

Hi Navy,

Feeling your frustration, and probably can’t answer your questions.  Just wanted to respond to say that normal is replaced by a new normal, which oftentimes isn’t ‘normal’.  This has been my experience.  Accept what it is, because it doesn’t matter what you do or say.

Instead, remember who you are and what you want.

This has helped me when I’m really feeling stressed with all of it.

[A1991]

Hi Navy.

I don’t know you or your OH’s issues.

It will get better, it will take time.

And if he can stay off whatever he’s been on he will be back to normal, it may take weeks, maybe months depending on what it is.

 

It’s obviously a really **it situation for you to be in. But saying that if you Love him, then stand by him, get him through it.

If you feel like it’s not your problem or you’ve had enough sometimes it’s best to walk away, although I think that would probably be the worst thing for him right now.

If its hard drugs then maybe professional help is what he will need.

 

Good luck.

A

[navy]

Hi both

thank you for your responses. I’m so sad as we are back to the dishonesty and he has used again!! He says he wants to get sober yet I don’t feel it from him. I feel that he is using me.

I don’t like the new normal I just want a life with the man I  fell in love with. I just want someone to hold when I’m feeling low who will just hug me and say it will be ok. Hold my hand when out for a walk and sit in silence when need be but just be there. It’s gone and I don’t think it will ever come back.

I’ve been on this site for over a year and I’ve just realised life it too short for all this s**t.

if he wants to ruin his then so be it but I can’t be part of it. He says he is going to join rehab!!! I’ve asked him to see a professional and share the results with me. I now need proof as I don’t trust or believe him anymore. I can’t keep going through this I’m getting too old.

It broke my heart today to see those words The devil won today im haunted by this and hate spending so much time alone.

I hope your both coping with your OH

take care

thank you again Navy xx

[thistim3]

There hasn’t been much in here about rehab. I’m curious if there are any success stories out there about rehab.

[Lozzy80]

Hi Navy , I’ve read some of your posts and they could have been written by me. If you still post on here be good to know how you are getting on now…

I’ve cracked so many times.. been on antidepressants for anxiety and depression, left but took him back , got into debt trying to bail him out from dealers etc…

I am now trying to get myself sorted as it’s taken its toll.on my physical and mental health… I  think the health issues I’ve had this yr, and a few other serious wake up calls about my husband’s cocaine use , has pushed me to this point – I am now preparing to leave him..

 

Anyway hope your ok and thank you for sharing your own struggle

Also thank you thistim3 for the  wise words.

[Lozzy80]

Sorry my reply went off on a tangent and don’t know how to.edit. bringing it back to the Q – I know of a small handful of ppl where rehab has worked , not first attempt…but they were determined to change and built solid foundations for their recovery post Rehab including peer support , a career or hobbies /interests etc they were not triggers. Some of them have done amazingly well and I yearned for so.many years for that to one day be my husband..

[navy]

Hi lozzy80

im still here, I’m still trying to understand. He is having help. It’s taken its toll on me tho.

I have taken time off work with illness now I need more time to help him. I’m hoping that by Christmas he will be feeling better I still don’t know if this will work if the devil will leave him alone, I know he opened up more and says he hates this f**king drug and doesn’t want any part of it anymore, he knows how hurtful he been towards me and really wants this. I really hope that’s him talking and not the ego part of him taking me for a ride.

so sorry your going through this Lozzy however you like me have a choice, we can support if they are willing to get help and show you the outcome so you can learn to trust them again. OR you have to leave and save yourself from being dragged down the rabbit hole with them which ends in the life you don’t want.

think carefully and do what’s right for you there’s no right or wrong answer. Or how many times  you want to forgive and try  again.  Just be prepared and keep looking after yourself do what you want to do and keep your friends and family close to you who can support you.

Good luck and I wish you all the best.
Navy xx

 

 

[Lozzy80]

Thanks Navy

I am trying to get help now with my mental health, and I am gearing my self up to contact other support services to discuss options for getting out of this marriage.

It’s been too many years of the same old sh** sadly I don’t think my husband is one of the ones that really want to change.

I hope you too are looking after yourself , we spend so much time and energy putting their needs first we end up neglecting ourselves and it’s no surprise we then end up with illness etc ..hope you are ok.

Take care

Lozzy xx

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