[desperateme]

My story in breif is that my daughter got addicted to benzos Sept 2019 – in March 2020 She seemed to be up together and went and lived with a boyfriend and his family, she said she was off them, she seemed off them but they drunk a lot of alcohol there which I didnt realise was going to be her next addiction! Anyway came back to me to live in September 2020 – Boyfriend dumped her – she went back on to the benzos heavily, got gang raped when out of it (2nd time!) which led to her cutting herself too, drinking heavily, cocaine benzos was a total mess but then in November suddenly asked for help, we were lucky she got taken into a pyschiatric ward for 2 weeks, she seemed great when she came out , positive about the future, happy and ambitious, got a job straight away which she enjpyed, but then about a month later started cutting again, started hanging with the guys she did coke and got wrecked with then lost her job, would do 3 day benders then come home and spend 3 days in her room, ended up having massive row last week as told her she cannot carry on like this she should find somewhere else to live – she left and went to the flat where they do all the coke and alcohol (so I feel like I pushed her into doing more) she has been there since, I found loads of empty benzo packets in her room when she had gone and she still denied being on them even tho proof was there. She is now on a massive weekend binge – they have been doing coke/alcohol/benzos all weekend,,,, I fear for her life, I feel helpless and I just dont know what to do next. I have her money as she never got round to opening her own account so she has to ask me to transfer money when she needs it, it is her money and I know I should really jsut let her have the whole lot there is about 1300 left now but I also dont want to as know it will be gone in a week on drugs. She hasnt really argued about it or objected to me still having control over it not sure why. Anyway I am so so down, I actually dont know where to go or what to do from here, Im so scared for her, does anyone have any advice please?

[lindyloo]

Hi Desperateme, welcome to the forum. Everyone here has a loved one who has addictions and also some people in recovery offering support and advice.

I’m so sad to read your story , you and your family have been through such a lot. I just wanted you to know that people care and there is support for you.

My 28yr old son has alcohol and cocaine addictions so I do have an understanding of how it can affect a family.

Unfortunately I don’t have all the answers, but perhaps the Icarus trust could help, or the adfam homepage. I’m sure you would benefit from speaking to one of the counsellors.

Please take care of yourself first and foremost. You will need to stay strong if you’re going to support her.

Thinking and praying for us all here.

Lx

[desperateme]

Thankyou Lindy loo I have never heard of the Icarus trust but I will have a look now. I definitely could do with some help for myself as am struggling to deal with it all , Thankyou. Sending you hopefulness too xx

[lindyloo]

You’re welcome, also as a mum of a person with addictions, go to ‘share your stories ‘ and click onto Theresa thread. There are several of us mums all with sons (mostly sons) who have addictions. When you read the threads you will realise you are not alone and the ladies are all very helpful and supportive.

Thank you for your wishes, praying for us all here.

Lx

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