[elaine24]

I am currently sitting at a family meal, thinking all I want to do is run away and spend my money on cocaine….

I’m with my partners family, and they are overwhelming me really badly.

My partner got a bottle of wine and I want to drink that plus all alcohol on the menu.

Ffs

[adam]

Trust me coke does not resolve no problems if anything it creates more trust me I know too well

[elaine24]

You know its true…. My head is just getting the better of me

[adam]

How you getting on

[elaine24]

Not good….. My sister in laws are just so up their own backsides….

Not got any.

But want to just walk out…

I’m just not like them at all…. Tried to talk to them and got dismissed

[elaine24]

Whatever!!!

My partner knows I ain’t happy…. And Half of me just wants to leave

[adam]

Hey let me tell my situation my mrs n kids are away for week thought a cheeky 1 wont hurt… 5 later regretting it.. want more but I’ve just realised what is happening to me so No means No

[elaine24]

Oh mate I am so sorry to hear that.

You know something, when I’m away from certain people I can push through.

It’s all small steps but then something makes me crack.

We’ve had two close deaths recently, and it’s been hard but it’s no excuse.

They are just talking about it all and I just can’t deal with it

[adam]

If your not happy there go…but do something new and crazy. Something out of character something that dont involve (drink and drugs) so you get a adrenaline rush that’s what your looking for (I think)…

[elaine24]

I have just got a non alcoholic cocktail of cucumber and raspberry…. And ordering the fastest desert so I sleep after the sugar rush

Are you OK?

[adam]

Not really no but I think ive just realised it’s not just me it’s a common thought… well ive learned the mrs n kids keep me in check… need more than I realised… home alone and to much time your self with a bit coke is dangerous cocktail… can I have 1 of those u are drinking lol

[adam]

When do u know when to stop??

[elaine24]

I shall send to you now ????

Yes its a very common thought and I go thriugh that every day dude.

We need to sort it out for good, but it’s hard

[elaine24]

God knows… That’s a hard thing to say.

[adam]

My mind wants more but I dont think my body can take no more

[elaine24]

My dad told me once… That the first line is always the best… And you continue to chase that line for the rest that you do x

[adam]

Shit believe me never again come down kicking in

[elaine24]

Have a good cold icy glass of water…. And drink it slowly

[adam]

Does ur partner now?? You see no else know I do it other than me the supplier and u

[elaine24]

Then If you are panicking go and listen to some pink flloyd

[elaine24]

My partner knows… And I overspent this month on it but he only knows by 50

[elaine24]

I done 100

[adam]

I’ll be alright (I hope) but dig your own grave and that… thanks for replying has helped me to not get more… anyway have u left yet

[adam]

100 grams

[elaine24]

Not yet… Still here and having a southern comfort and lemonade but no gear…

Na just two grams for 100…

Depends where you live doesn’t it

[adam]

I think I have had too much

[adam]

Thanks for the chat hope u stay strong

[elaine24]

And you….

Have you tried the water?

[adam]

Yes thanks… feel real bad but good at the same time I think something has clicked in this head I dont want no more EVER or is that what everyone says when they f####d

[elaine24]

The honest truth….

[elaine24]

It’s hard a thought…. I would like to remove myself away.

How have you hidden it from your partner?

I’ve had some

[adam]

Something made come here

[adam]

No thought u were doing well just leave it at that 1 line the biggest challenge 4 u know

[elaine24]

Yep… Something made me come to this group. Too.

[adam]

I dont do if the kids are here tend to stop out somewhere … she has thought I cheated on her which is not me but this no… i would dead if she found out

[adam]

People say we need more money I think I need less so there is a end to it.work hard and just wasted it…

[adam]

I didn’t really think what I’m actually taking. reading up about it now I’ve just realised this shit is worst than heroin. I’m addicted (twice a month ur an addict) and I’m only baking powder off being a crack head ???? so the internet tells me????????

[adam]

I hope I’m not interfering with ur night if ur busy enjoy ur night that’s what its supposed to do… just dont go crazy on it.all good until u get to my stage

[elaine24]

Don’t always read and believe

That’s actually incorrect.

I had a friend who was an ex heroin addict, and it’s a lot harder then cocaine

[adam]

But I dont feel down and bad I feel strong and I think I’ve got this under control now let’s just hope I can think like this when I’m level headed again

[adam]

How u feeling now

[adam]

Better thanks I actually dont want any more that urges has gone..??? Used to think It was just me losing it with reality when high but no there loads of stories out there.. I think we all like an escape from life and we choose to be friends with Charlie

[elaine24]

Yes indeed……

[elaine24]

But it’s so hard

[adam]

U have had more and your mind frame is changing to 1 cheeky line to 1g it’s all a waste after a few

[elaine24]

Yes exactly

[elaine24]

Probs the worse person to speak to

[adam]

Just think how u got here in the 1st place realising u have a problem which is a step in the right direction I guess I used to think a few lines here and there do no harm…

[elaine24]

How did you get here in the first place?

[adam]

Stay safe

[adam]

I’m not ruining ur night I’m I if ur busy that’s fine (but if you want I’m here to listen

[elaine24]

I’m. Here

[elaine24]

Are you

[adam]

U ok

[elaine24]

OK… They are talking about stuff I can’t deal with

You OK?

[adam]

Yh I’m doing good.. cant sleep but not had no more. Do you need to be there?? Just go home or for walk to get away from it for a bit

[elaine24]

Here still…

No. Gear

[elaine24]

Drinking water

[danman83]

You all right dude? Youve done great if you havent used while out. You should be proud of yourself! And you will feel miles better today!

[elaine24]

Hey!!! I’ve only just seen this as I left my battery charger at my bro in laws…… I did do some but I went for a good old walk on Sunday, and watched a nice film.

How have you been?

I’ve had my assessment yesterday for D&A and should get a keyworker next week to sort my therapy plan out……

[danman83]

Ive been good. Reading a new book. And im listening to binary beats? Have you heard of them? They help for.addiction and other things. Its music meditation. Im feeling a lot happier and better with it. Sounds daft i know haha.

It will get easier with the therapy plan

[elaine24]

That sounds good…. I saved your number just in case you needed to message, hope that’s OK?.

Can you send me. Through the links to that?

Found a fab song by chemical brothers I’m going to work out too!!!

[danman83]

Ye course. But i deleted yours lol so you will have to send me a text if u want and ill save it.

Just search in you tube theta binary beats. But you need listen with head phones and just relax. Its hard to explain but in science terms… 4 -8 hz sound gets into your sub consious and basically re wires your brain. And helps with addiction and anxiety. Then there is gamma, alpha.. which is like 10-12 hz.. and these make you more focused and really aware and good for learning if you get me. Have a google and read up on binary beats.

Ill send you a link anyway now.

You need more than 1 song to workout to lol. You cant have a 4 minute workout haha

[danman83]

Watch “4.5 Hz Theta Binaural Beat Sleep Music ☽ Have Crystal Clear Dreams ☽ 432 Hz Soothing Music For Sleep” on YouTube

https://youtu.be/xPsq52N8aCI

[danman83]

Watch “Anti-Addiction Sleep Frequency, Fight addiction while you sleep” on YouTube

[elaine24]

That sounds amazing!!!!!!!

Will def have a look into it….

Well I feel embarrassed now where I kept yours ????????

I know that… Sign up with the gym on the 25 sep, so as I was writing to you this morning I decided I need to put together a play list for the gym.

After a few days of not having alcohol does it come out of your body? I’m bloody boiling today!!!!

[danman83]

What u mean were you kept mine?lol

Ye i imagine it would. All the toxins and that. Just drink loads of water.

Ive never been a big drinker. But if i drink. I drink a lot haha

[elaine24]

Yep lol!!

Oh really…. I was a big and an a big drinker…. I want wine now but I’m fighting every emotion.

Going home to work on my playlist or study

[danman83]

Ahhh… i get you now.. im a bit slow haha..no i deleted so incase you thought id mither lol.

I do love a pink gin n tonic now tho hahah…

Just have a coffee instead.. i cant stand wine!

So what music are you in to?

What studying are you doing?

[elaine24]

Lol!

Pink G&Ts are lush… I tell you another one is grapefruit gin, that’s really nice and refreshing.

I’m having sparkling water and a homemade curry….

All types of music…. Rock, dance, pop, heavy rock, opera etc etc…. You?

I’m studying my HR degree….. So I can do better in my career.

How’s work been?

[danman83]

Im not into grapefruit.. parma violet is lurrsh haha.

Same as u except opera lol

I like some female rock bands. Your heard of halestorm? There great .

And female vocal trance and meat loaf haha.

Works same old. I enjoy it though lol.

Are you good at making currys? Or is it out of a jar? Lol

[elaine24]

Eww!!!

I wouldnt listen to opera loads, just every now and then…. Haha

Oh really! I went and see Skunk Anansie a few weeks ago and they were the nuts!!!! I loved them!

That’s good to hear…

Out of a jar this one, I can make them but when I have time and brain capacity. Sitting here with a huge food coma!

[elaine24]

Perfect time for sleep now.

Did you do your DIY?

[danman83]

I did some sanding lol its hard doing it at the weekends when i work nights. So ive booked a week off work, and will do it all then. Im looking at doing a plastering course aswell. Im having a early midlife crisis lol. I wish i did something like this when i was younger.

[elaine24]

I thought you worked for the Bank? I assumed you would be doing days for that lol!

It sounds like you are having a midlife crisis mate ???? how old are you?

[danman83]

I do lol. At night. 36 🙁

[Author]

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