[lauren21-21]

Desperate need for advise, I feel like I’m going insane. So my boyfriend of a year drinks and does cocaine. This happens about 3-4 times and week and it’s excessive. Everytime he does this it gets to a certain point of the evening and he will ignore my texts, calls etc this happens on a regular basis. When confronted the next day he will say he started to prang out so ignored me. Yesterday for example he said he was leaving his mates and he will text when home, I said “ok cool I’ll call you” then surprise surprise nothing. I asked him this morning and he said he didn’t text because then I’d call and he was paranoid due to the coke. Now this all seems like pure shit to me. I’ve told him just to text saying home or he is paranoid etc etc. Is he bullshitting me and up to something else because something isn’t sitting right. HELP any advise please

[danman83]

Hiya lauren.. for a start if hes having it 3 or 4 times a week.. he must be addicted to the stuff by now?.

Id be more worried thats your bf is a coke addict by now and he needs help. But he needs to realise this himself.

Ive lapsed a couple times this year off coke and im doing my best to quit. But because your question isnt really about you want him to stop i wont answer that.

But going back to your original question.. were is he when hes having the coke? Is he in his house or on nights out?

If he says he will be paranoid if you call.. why should he be, if you know hes having it?. He could either just cba to reply to you.

Or… if hes on a night out.. i aint going to lie to you. It does make you horney.. and flirt a bit.. and cheat.. so does alcohol..

But then again. He could be doing nothing.

But id tell him get help if i was you and sort himself quik. Its leathal that stuff. And i wish i never started it.

[lauren21-21]

Hi,

Thank you for your reply, means a lot. He is most definitely addicted to it, he has been doing it for about 14 years now, I’ve tried everything to make him stop and help him but he says that “everyone does it” and he is fine. So it not like I don’t want him to stop I just can’t help him when he won’t admit it, he knows deep down it’s a issue. The problem is, he can’t escape it, one the way home the lads do it in the van like it’s a car sweet, all his pals do it, it’s everywhere . His drinking is lethal now too, he is forever chasing, he drinks bottles of beer like it’s water, he averages about 14 bottles or 4 bottles of Prosecco this is to himself in his words “I drink to get drunk” the problem is tho as he does so much gear with it he struggles to get drunk.

So he doesn’t go out; we did live together and he’d do it indoors, 3 weeks ago I left, he was becoming volatile so now I’m back at my parents and so is he. So he’ll either sit in his room doing it (his mum says shit, which I find bizarre) or he will go to his cousins who is married to his best mate and they will stand in the kitchen all night. He doesn’t go out socialising, in a year I’ve known him to go out twice then come home early because of the paranoia. When he lived together his paranoia was extreme, in talking checking the doors frantically, standing in the dark asking me if I could here someone, obviously no one every there. So I do know he gets paranoid, I just don’t understand why he can’t answer my calls or texts, things just seem off, maybe he is just being his usual self but why not just text.

Yes your right he could be doing something and I know it gives you the horn. I’m just struggling with whenever he says he is popping up his cousin he goes MIA or when we lived together, I’d sometimes stay at my parents I’d come home the next day and weird stuff had happened. Ie ashtray outside burnt to a crisp, all keys in locks then questioning how I got in….. I could go on

[rani123]

Hi Lauren … i don’t know about cheating on you with other women and going out not answering your calls or replying to your txt when he is out getting high …because my ex husband was like that too and he would do the same but end up coming home same night wacked out of his head in a taxi straight to bed after sex .. I would go through his phone and not find nothing apart from porn websites … he had an answer for everything… it’s the cocaine that makes them horny and the drink … he isn’t worth it .

Why waste your life and your brain cells with a person like that… just leave them before it’s too late .. it’s nooo good for your health .. in the long run it will hit your hard …

It happened to me … I was with him 6 years .. went through hell and back to make things work with him but noooooooooooo nothing worked then I had to make a decision.

[danman83]

Well the only other thing i can think of.. ill tell you how my gf best mate.. how her bf and what he did on coke.. he unscrewed everything eletrical in the house thinking hes being watched.. he accused her of sleeping with asians… and he found an asian passport of a guy in the house.. he showed it her and it was a cut out of a kids book of a made up play passport…

She came home and he had a machete on him in the house saying people are coming.. no one was obv..

Then he was missing and he was seen and pics uploaded on fb.. of him in someones back yard no socks or shoes on drinking water from a hose pipe. He got sectioned after that. Too much coke and no sleep makes you have a mental break down. You recan it could be that? If hes not enjoying it anymore. Its just gonna get worse.

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