[michele1912]

Hello, I met my ex partner but we are currently still living together 5 years ago. 2 years ago I relocated my children, my life and my job to buy a house with him in bedfordshire so he could stay near his children. Long story short I didn’t realise when I got with him he is a cocaine addict he hid it real well! He ended our relationship last October, sacked me NYE he has become mentally and emotionally abusive. He has had a devastating effect on my children for which I am ashamed. He absolutely hates me when once he adored me. I thought he was a narcissist but wonder if in fact it’s just the cocaine that has made him this vile person. I am trying to get myself and my children out lockdown has been horrendous. I was diagnosed with severe depression, PTSD and anxiety last year….. Never suffered with anything like this before EVER. I’m just about holding it together. I wonder do any of you have any experience with cocaine and narcissists …. I’m not even sure he is an narc but I know he uses coke. He appears to hate me after taking it and in the days weeks after he is vile to me and ignores my children. It’s over, I know but we adored each other. I’m a professional well educated woman, I wouldnt have relocated if I didn’t genuinely believe we were solid. My world has been shattered. He blames me for everything and hates me venomously. I truly have not done anything wrong.

[bt1978]

Hey th aks for the post and well done. There are some strong females in here that will offer great support and advice.

From an addiction perspective this is classic behaviour from your partner. Addicts will tend to loom outward and blame anyone and everything aside from themselves in order to avoid having to deal with the issue, which is their addiction and their behaviour. Its typical minimising their faults and maximising everyone else’s.

I know this as I am a recovering alcoholic and addict ( and don’t behave like that since I stopped)

This is NOT your fault and not your problem. You have been exposed to this for too long and it’s clear from your writing you have been afce fed quite badly by his behaviour. Also there is no guarantee this is all cocaine, he could just be like that it’s hard to say.

You must look at protecting yourself and children ASAP as this will likely get worse. Is there anywhere you can go?

Keep posting and stay strong, hoping one of the strong females will post soon on here and offer more support

[michele1912]

Thank you ????

[dot]

Hi I’m on day 75 clean from cole. Not a key a line nothing. I lost everything and that’s what it took for me to stop. I’m much happier now as it was toxic in the end anyway. My addiction was triggered and enabled by my ex wife. Not just her fault I made that choice to shove it up my nose.

In the past year and half of our marriage the coke took me over. Paranoia. Abusive erratic behaviour mentally. I wore her down. Made her feel like she wasnt good enough and put her down. All she wanted to do was help me because she loved me and I see that now but it’s too late.

My point is I would of never changed if she didnt do what she did. I cant ever return to her even if I wanted too as it could trigger in my head that way of life again.

Cocaine makes people exert alot of erratic and impulsive behaviours and also anger. I’ve just been on the biggest withdraw of my life but luckily brain feels clear and has returned to what I believe full functionality or near full .

When I sit and examine my behaviour what it was like i guess she could call me a narcissist as that was the behaviours I displayed. Something that I have to live with as that is not me st all.

I’d suggest cutting contact till he proves he is clean. If you need to get police involved do it. They will help you as you are protecting your children.

Mesaage kel1 on here she is excellent with stuff like this and the advice she given me helped me significantly to get clean

[michele1912]

Are you ok Dot? 75 days is a huge achievement well done. I don’t think many can appreciate how hard that must have been for you.thanks for your earlier response …. Makes me think he isn’t a narc just an addict. Nonetheless I believe I am a trigger for him and for both if us to be happy we have to be apart. Do you think you and your wife will ever reconcile?

[michele1912]

Thank you so much Dot ♥️ I know we are over and I suspect he will get help when I am gone. I just wish I had the money to leave now for my children’s sake.

[Author]

Posts