[becshek]

Hi, my 28 year old daughter is a recovering alcoholic. She was discharged from rehab 2 days ago and is now back home with what I suspect (and hope) is all the knowledge and resources to recover from what has been a difficult period. Alcoholism is a consequence of anxiety and panic attacks and I think it has been going on for a longer time than either her father or I are aware of. I was worried before she entered rehab, before she admitted that she was an alcoholic. The calls in the middle of the night, the admissions to hospital because she was vomiting blood, I’m sure you know what I mean. I know she has been through detox and has had lots of therapy and tells me she is attending AA but I have to say I am equally worried and stressed out now and not sure how to not worry. I realise how long she has been lying to us (and how easy it was for her to lie) and now I guess I am struggling to trust her distinguish truth from lies. She tells me I am smothering her (I try to keep checking in, ask if she’s following her routine – we are actually a very close unit). However I feel she cannot see things from my perspective. I know this is her illness and she has gone through this but to me it looks like she cannot see what it has done to us, her parents and although she has been through rehab, we have not been part of that and are still in the same situation. I don’t really know where to turn.

[debc]

Hi Becshek,

Welcome to the Forum, it’s a great place to share your worries and concerns and lots of people on here in the same situation.

My Son is an addict, alcohol and cocaine, has been in rehab twice and doing ok at the moment.

I completely understand where you are coming from with the trust issues, it’s very hard to learn to trust them again as we have been let down so many times before. The lies are the hardest thing to bear.

I would give her a bit of time to adjust to being back home, I presume she lives with you? Just try and not ask too many questions (very hard not to do), and some days they will feel like talking and these are the good times. I know in rehab they go through different processes and chat to counsellors about what they have done to family etc, and sometimes they keep journals of their daily life and feelings when they are in rehab, my Son done this and I have read it, it’s very sad sometimes, but makes you realise how they are feeling.

Hopefully she will carry on doing the AA meetings, I think this is very important for them.

There is lots of help on here and also the Icarus Trust who you can talk to.

Most important look after yourself, take care and keep chatting on here, it helps to share.

Dx

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