[jumpingjehosofat]

I got married to a bloke when I was 21 – I knew he drank every night to wind down after work, but thought having a house and mortgage would make him stop. It didn’t. I used to have to sneak home from work through the day when he was off to see to my babies because he couldn’t get up, we never had money in the bank – he kept it in his wallet to make sure he had enough to buy drink in an evening and I had to steal from him to feed the kids – this drinking every night continued for the 15 years I stayed with him – no family outings, bouts of rage and smashing up the house, having to be home and kids settled by 7 pm so the drinking could commence – he did, and still does hold down a job – but life for him focuses on drink time. He threw me out when I got ill and could no longer work and pay for everything else required to run a home, feed a family, and keep his earnings free for alcohol.

I now live with Jeff (8not his real name). A fantastic, loving, generous, special guy. His health has been damaged by alcohol – he has heart problems. He has a fantastic – but high stress job, and his former partner led him a merry dance for a long period of time. By the time I moved in, a year ago, he had been drinking heavily in the evenings, most evenings, for a long time. He drinks heavily at least three times a week and usually more, and it has gotten to the stage where he is so hungover sometimes he can’t make it to work. Today is one of those days. When he doesn’t drink in the evening, he finds it very difficult to settle and can’t sleep. He is very often sick in the mornings, even when he hasn’t been drunk the night before, he often has bloodshot eyes, and his energy levels are non existent.

He often speaks about stopping drinking, and sometimes goes for a run of three or four days without, but then the cans, and the jd appear in the kitchen again.

I want to be with Jeff forever, I love him dearly, I’m desperate for him to really ‘live’, I want him to chuck his stressful and demanding job and do something he loves. I don’t want to lose this guy – and I’m so afraid he’s going to die a nasty, unhappy death for the sake of a few hours oblivion a night

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