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Another day in paradise, living with an addict.cant you tell its Saturday, my god im hating this man even more by the second
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I hear you.
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Hi,
Almost smiled reading this. My partner is on the come down, god knows where today!
The weekends just get better and better don’t they x
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What is he addicted to?
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Your post made me smile ????.
But am sorry to hear ya sitch…
Hope he don’t make you hate even more on suicide Sunday lol…
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My other half does everything you listed but the drink. He’s put gambling controls on his bank now but he never has no money anyway ????
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Haha , glad ya liked the saying haha.
Seems like ya propa fed up with him then..
Rather slap him into shape or leave sad sack to it mate. If he want do it for you it shows his true colours…
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Oh Natasha you made me laugh about the chocolate and Crisps… it’s driving me crazy also.
I got up early to get ready to take our child to their sports activity they do every Saturday. Addict complained because I accidentally woke him up while getting our child ready.
He was annoyed because he was on it last night (and the night before) smoking 20 cigarettes, doing crack and drinking… so of course he was tired.
He had woken me at 3 a.m. to make him something to eat as clearly he’s incapable!
So I take child to their activity and then we go for lunch/shopping and head home. I get home and he’s eaten all the chocolate and crisps…. breakfast of kings? It’s like living with a student or in a student digs.
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Bad day today. I like how you described yours as a creature! I definitely relate to that. They do seem so pathetic sometimes and it frustrates me so much.
Have you ever come across ‘Put the Shovel Down’ on YouTube? https://youtube.com/c/AddictionRecoveryHelp
I find her videos really helpful when I’m trying to muddle through how I’m feeling x
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Bad day today. I like how you described yours as a creature! I definitely relate to that. They do seem so pathetic sometimes and it frustrates me so much.
Have you ever come across ‘Put the Shovel Down’ on YouTube? https://youtube.com/c/AddictionRecoveryHelp
I find her videos really helpful when I’m trying to muddle through how I’m feeling x
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Yes I think that’s part of it. It’s a stimulant isn’t it, so they can stay up for hours and hours on it. Mine did a night shift Thursday night and hasn’t been to sleep yet.
There’s also the crash after.
Mines in bed now as well after his bender. Just sat on his phone not a care in the world. Will likely come down for food later when he’s done starving himself from not eating for two days and raid all the cupboards.
These are the times I really resent. They stop still but time doesn’t. They just seem to waste their days like this?!
I hear you about wanting to rip his head off, I’d like to rip mines nose off ????
I’ve told him before that his nose is more expensive than some of our furniture!! Seems like the most valuable thing he owns.
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Oh my gosh… so the money thing…
Mine does not only the stuff but a packet of cigarettes a time and several drinks on a 5er deal. So last week he asked me for cigarettes twice and drinks a couple of times and today he asks me for money/cigarettes… and I’m like there’s no money left… in the end I got him cigarettes out of the tiny bit remaining… he should be paid soon so I said to him he’d better give me some of that!!!
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Oh and Natasha… the soundtrack of my relationship has been that I’m arguing with him when all I’m doing is saying something in a normal voice… but what I’m saying is not agreeing with him or his view or what he wants to hear… so that’s arguing.
I’m not allowed a voice or to actually argue… ironically.
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Mine tells me I shame him when all I say is what he’s done and I can be really reasonable and know I make perfect sense but in his eyes, everything is a personal attack.
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Yes they are super defensive. Mine has always been like this (think there’s something wrong there in his personality) but the drugs and drink make it worse.
Tbf, I think they do feel deep shame so anything that indicates we are calling them out on their usage and behaviour is going to garner that response/reaction. I know mine is ashamed – I think he’d be extremely embarrassed for anyone to know, which is why he’s not even been able to tell his favourite and trusted doctor. I have covered for him for so long but don’t even get any credit for that most of the time!
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The creature ???????? mines lest me with no money yet again so had to lend , better days are coming girls x
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I’m so sorry about the money Mammy. I am on the last few pounds. I realised I have to buy a birthday present for my sister before I get paid… not sure how to achieve that haha. Gonna try and get him to hand over some money for once.
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Was our sons birthday last week I had to lend again , he came with A few cheap bits and stayed 20 minutes x mines sleeping loads I’m sure he’s on opioids
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The creature ???????? mines left me with no money yet again so had to lend , better days are coming girls x
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I’ve worked out mines a narcissist so to admit he’s wrong would just never happen x surely they have to feel shame but in there drug haze they just can’t admit it awful situation
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Mine’s either hyper awake and on one… or sleeping.
As a family we don’t get any family time. He’s just not able to be present. It’s really sad.
My child’s birthday is in a couple of weeks and they want a party for the first time and I have no money or idea how I’d achieve it. Best I can do is see if my mum might chip in and do a birthday at the soft play but not even sure if it’s too late to book that or if some people might not want to due to Covid etc.
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I had a rally fun day with my son we got water balloons and guns it wasn’t what I wanted but he enjoyed it x
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Mine’s either hyper awake and on one… or sleeping.
We don’t get any family time. He’s just not able to be present. At most we might watch a film together at some point. It’s really sad. It’s just me and our child.
My child’s birthday is in a couple of weeks and they want a party for the first time and I have no money or idea how I’d achieve it. Best I can do is see if my mum might chip in and do a birthday at the soft play but not even sure if it’s too late to book that or if some people might not want to due to Covid etc.
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That sounds nice Mammy. Things will be different once we are in our new places and sorted out financially.
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Kick em in the in the ball bag n tell em to man up….
Tough love is what I got n did sort me out a bit like…
Good look ladies. Been reading ya post n feel for ya all…
Chins up yea… xxxx
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Kick em in the in the ball bag n tell em to man up….
Tough love is what I got n did sort me out a bit like…
Good look ladies. Been reading ya post n feel for ya all…
Chins up yea… xxxx
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Kick em in the in the ball bag n tell em to man up….
Tough love is what I got n did sort me out a bit like…
Good look ladies. Been reading ya post n feel for ya all…
Chins up yea… xxxx
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Kick em in the in the bean bag n tell em to man up….
Tough love is what I got n did sort me out a bit like…
Good look ladies. Been reading ya post n feel for ya all…
Chins up yea… xxxx
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Kick em in the arse n tell em to man up….
Tough love is what I got n did sort me out a bit like…
Good look ladies. Been reading ya post n feel for ya all…
Chins up yea… xxxx
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Kick em in the arse n tell em to man up….
Tough love is what I got n did sort me out a bit like…
Good look ladies. Been reading ya post n feel for ya all…
Chins up yea… xxxx
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Kick em in the arse n tell em to man up….
Tough love is what I got n did sort me out a bit like…
Good look ladies. Been reading ya post n feel for ya all…
Chins up yea… xxxx
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Didn’t think it was working so pressed send like 7 time lol….
Hey Natasha 21…
Do you know what day it is ????….
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I just went to bed angry at him and woke up angry with him this morning.
I’m tired of ruined weekends and ruined days because he can’t get his shit together and stop using drugs.
I’m tired that as soon as I say anything at all about what he does he says I’m just ‘assuming he doesn’t want to stop’ or the other bullshit that pours out of his mouth. Sometimes I don’t care if he feels ashamed by his actions.
He’s a victim of his own doing and he’s just dragging me down with him. Sorry for going on a rant, I just want to scream!
Going to walk the dog instead.
How are you all doing?
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Good morning 21..
You keep doing what’s best for you n the kids yea.. If he wants to wreck his life after ya trying to help him. Well unfortunately he already loves all that more than you guys. Yea he loves you’s , he just loves that messy life more..
N hell yea suicide Sunday lol.. used to hate em so I did..
N Na mate , my drugs of choice was the worse of the worse unfortunately. Heroin. Been clean for almost 5 years now. Built my life back up. But out of it all I feel so sorry for what I put my ex through. When ya get back on earth from stupid arse chemicals you realise how f up you have been..
N not that it makes it any better , I only smoked the crap. Never went no where near a needle… I kinda kept shit together like fella for a while. But sooner than later shit hits the fan init..
Hope ya have a SUPER Sunday n don’t let man get you down. You got kids mate. Your one of the lucky ones yea… ???? keep that chin high ….
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Mines still in bed, likely gearing himself up for another week of it with his scruff mates. I’d packed his stuff Friday night and left it in the garage for him to collect. Yesterday he returned, he put his stuff in the car and then come in the house and hasn’t left, then last night he tried to get me to leave in his rage.
He chucked all my clothes from our wardrobe downstairs and said if I didn’t leave in 10 minutes then he’d drag me out by my hair. Told him I was phoning the police and that I wasn’t leaving, he was.
He went back to bed and that’s where he’s stayed other than in the middle of the night when he needed food. He’s left all the pots in the sink and on the kitchen side, like it’s my job to tidy up after him.
No respect, pushes my boundaries. Just a shell of the man I once knew.
He told me he’s now signed up for help, but we were here over a year and a half ago. He signed up for support with his addiction and then never followed through. I think it’s a manipulation tactic so he can continue what he does and still have a roof over his head.
Plus he knows I’m paid from work in a couple of days and he has no money. I usually transfer my half to him for our shared bills but I feel like leaving him in the lurch and not paying him a dime! Xx
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Thank you, I’m trying.
Nothing seems to hurt them does it?!
I mean I know that deep down within them that they must hurt on some level, but to everyone else they act so coldly as they actually believe it’s us overreacting and causing the problems. It’s all to protect their addiction.
Has yours ever spoken of wanting help with his problem?
I always think it would be great if he got help, but there’s always going to be that possibility he’l do it again and relapse is part of it. I’m not sure it’s worth sticking around for xx
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Mine doesn’t seem to care about the damage he’s caused how are they not thoroughly ashamed ? Do the drugs make them so cold and un caring
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Basically makes them not give a flying F, it’s hijacked their brain and the drug runs the show.
I guess they will feel ashamed sometimes but maybe they don’t recognise what the feeling is so they get angry and use some more.
Mine is really cold and uncaring. He doesn’t seem to have any remorse ever for his actions. Just seems to stomp all over my feelings with his average size 9’s ????♀️????♀️
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Average size 9s , this cheered me up so much ???? I wish i didn’t still love mine he’s not the same person anymore x
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Haha glad it did!
I can relate to how you feel but I do keep thinking what am I getting out of this relationship, if i can even call it that anymore?! We just go round and round in circles and it’s exhausting and the drugs just creates a massive wedge between us.
He says he wants to stop, he has a few days/ a week where he’s off it, I get roped back in, he uses again and goes on a bender, I lose my shit with him and we go through all the motions and then it’s back to where we started. It’s just no life and I think I and everyone else on here deserves so much better xx
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We certainly do and if it was a friend going through it I’d be telling them the same it’s so hard to see the woods for the trees when your bang in the middle of it x hope you have a good day x
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Joined for support I get the Saturday think my other half has had a come down for two days and the vile comments I can’t take anymore hope everyone has got through the weekend I keep telling myself ignore him two days he will be back but then he takes it again
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Really feel for you it’s the worse situation to be in x
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Just been reading all these threads it’s the first time I’ve been on a forum and your all experiencing the same thing as me thank you Natasha today has been the worst hope your ok x
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I thought I was alone until I joined here no one who hasn’t been through it can understand it x
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No your so right I normally turn to his mum as we have a child together but she seems oblivious too it and think it’s some what ok so the support I though I had I haven’t got I will keep reading the posts glad I’m not the only one out there! Take care all of you x
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Take care lovely x
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Pleased you have had a good day , you deserve it x
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Still crap still getting no money off him I’m sick it’s the same thing every week I’m sick of struggling on then he’s existing like he doesn’t give a s&it
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Oh god sorry to hear this what is with the addiction they all think it’s a laugh and a joke until there rock bottom then the nasty stage comes I hope your ok mammyessex I wish it was as easy to say walk away or have him removed from the house but it isn’t that easy xx
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Mine left September but it’s been a constant struggle since he’s ran up so much debt and gives me barely anything x
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Oh bless you so your still living the nightmare how can any human think it’s ok to treat people the way they do absolutely vile been skint is a very common thing when shits involved and they can’t or won’t pay for there child but will blow it on a bag of drugs!!! Xx
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Exactly ! I couldn’t live with myself if my kids were going without for that , it’s just shocking never expected this after 24 years together x
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