[lilgunner]

Hello everyone, some of you might have seen previous posts of mine on here.

My friend is coming home from rehab next week. It’s been a crazy couple of years with everything that went on. I’ve grown quite fond of him and extremely proud of him for finally recognising he was powerless without help.

During the time he has been in treatment I have been looking after my well-being. I have meditated for a few years now but recently I’ve been practicing mindfulness everyday. It’s been really good at stopping my mind going off and helping me to heal.

He has said he wants to make a direct amends, I have some idea about this but never in a million years did I think I would be in a position to be part of someone’s recovery and them approaching me in that way. I feel really emotional about this and not sure what to expect from it all.

Has anyone ever had a loved one make a direct amends and if so how did this go? There’s things I want to say, and I’m not sure if writing this down will help me.

I’d appreciate other people’s stories and input. X

[lindyloo]

Hi lilgunner, I’ve read some of your posts before. That’s great news that your friend has come through rehab and coming home.

It’s also great that you are looking after you own health and well-being. Mindfulness and meditation are a great way to combat stress and anxiety.

My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions. He is currently in early recovery but without rehab. He is working through the 12 steps with a sponsor through AA fellowship.

I’m really proud of him as I know every day is a battle for our loved ones. One of the ‘steps’ is to openly make amends to those you have hurt during your addiction.

My son has apologised to us individually in our immediate family. He asked how it made us feel when he was using and about his behaviour. It’s an emotional experience but it clears the air and then everyone can ‘move on’ from it. It’s better not to dwell too much on what’s happened in the past despite how painful it’s been.

Thank you for sharing and I wish you and your friend many moments of happiness and positive experiences together ❤.

Lx

[lilgunner]

Thank you Lindyloo

Pleased to hear your son is in early recovery and following the steps.

I want to be able to let my friend know how much pain I was in, but like you said I don’t want to dwell on it and want the past to remain there, buried forever. Personally I will take the amends as it comes, I’m overthinking things which is my worst trait, but I acknowledge how important this step is for the person making amends. I feel I sort of have my own amends to make, as I was harsh towards my friend at times, i.e being controlling in ways, reacting negatively towards him but only with good intentions if that makes sense – kind of enabling.

Thanks for your kind words at the end, it means so much. X

[Author]

Posts