[lilgunner]

Hi everyone, I hope you are all well.

Some of you might have seen my previous posts about a friend on mine who has been addicted to cocaine for some years now.

A few days ago, he sent what seemed a sincere message saying he is going to rehab soon and he is relieved as he needs to put his health first. I really am hoping this is true. He said part of programme will see him seeking forgiveness and making amends to all those he has hurt during the time he has been using drugs.

I told him I don’t want to hear from him until he is working a programme and following the 12 steps properly – not taking snippets of the programme and try to remaster them

He said he will contact me once he is working a programme and if the next time I hear from him it will be from a clean person.

I hope I said the right thing, but told him he needs to concentrate on his recovery and make sure he gets himself better whilst following the steps properly. I said if contacting anyone will only cause himself problems that I don’t want him to contact me and I would rather take comfort knowing he’s ok and away from harm.

I also told him recently, I haven’t shown him kindness or love recently in my words as doing so only felt I was fueling a fire and it being in contact with him whilst using was damaging.

I told him I have this constant sadness and heavy heart out of the love I have towards him and his life is far too important to let it go to waste.

I really hope he does go to rehab, I’ve heard it before, but this time it feels different.

If anyone else has been to rehab or has a loved one who has, how best do you support them during their recovery? At the moment I don’t want to contact him as I want him to concentrate on himself.

Thanks x

[danman83]

Hey there. How have you been?

I’m glad he is finally going to sort himself out and admitting he is powerless over it. It’s the best thing for him. I can tell how much you care for him and you are such a good friend to him. Not many people would stick around and watch this happen.

I really hope he sticks to his plan and its just not the come down talk of.. I’m gonna go rehab and get better, and I don’t mean that in a bad way.

I’ve been there and done it myself.

Your right he does need to work on himself. And then everything will fall into place. My mum texts me every morn with out fail at 6am. Although it winds me up lol its just to show she cares.

[lilgunner]

Hey, Dan

I’m not good as it goes, feeling really emotional the last week.

I try not to react when he’s using but this week it felt like the camel’s back had been broken.

For my own mental health I have to keep distant in my communicating with him. I started back at the gym recently, but this weekend I have decided to take it more seriously as working out really is good for my soul lol I bloody hurt all over right now. Got some good days out coming up and going Somerset the end of the month. I need to concentrate on me and my family for the next few weeks.

I’ve tried so many different things to stop him using, to help him realise there’s more to life. I am powerless over his addiction, I know that.

Sounds so stupid, but as you know his behaviour on cocaine is really worrying. I don’t want to be the person who engages in any type of flirtatious behaviour when he’s using, I haven’t for many months now, as it would only be enabling his addiction/’s

I’ve heard the “I am going to rehab” line before, I know what you mean, so all I can do is hope and pray it’s true. Before it’s been on the same day he’s using so it’s all come down talk, this time it was a few days after. He said he has left his job, he wants to concentrate and immerse himself in to his recovery.

Life can be so cruel at times.

Hope you’re ok mate, you’re doing really well from what I’ve read on here. You make sure you continue to grow, you deserve happiness.

[danman83]

Yes your right you need to think of your mental health.

I know you care about him but there is only so much u can do. And it’s hard watching sone one do this to themselves and not being able to help.

But your mental health comes 1st.

Ive just signed up to another gym I felt shit theseast 2 weeks because I’ve been off work. But feeling good now. And I’m looking forward to getting back in.

So is he not working at all now? Me personally I’d prefer to work and keep busy.

Yes I’m definitely feeling good mate thanks for this.

Have a great time in Somerset ❤️

[lilgunner]

Funny you say that about being out of work and feeling shit, my friend says when he’s working he feels better for it.

Yes, he said he walked out of his job, which he not long started there. This is what probably led to him using Monday into Tuesday. Apparently he was putting work first too much, he even took up Just Eat to have more money, basically working to use and now needs to go rehab once and for all, hopefully it’s true. To be honest this new job would easily see him travel 1 and half/2 hour journey each way, then in the evening he would do just eat – this was all inbetween working from home and the office. No idea why he chucked in his last job as it was on his doorstep, however around December last year he called his boss high as a kite and off his face. I told him then, be honest with them and they will offer you support through work, then again he was probably too embarrassed after that episode and just wanted out as he felt people were then not looking at him in the same way.

Personally I think something more sinister is going on, he mentioned he owed people money, but wasn’t very coherent as he was semi on one, but if things have got out of hand he’s probably landed himself in more debt.

Thanks, a week away with my children and other family members is just what the doctor ordered. Can not wait to visit Cheddar Gorge!

Take care, Dan x

[danman83]

He seems like he has a lot going on, and he could be hiding how much he owes ect.. Its just a vicious circle what it does.

I really do hope he takea your advice.

What’s cheddar gorge? Lol

You to mate x

[lilgunner]

Hi Dan, not been on here in a while, needed to clear my head a little.

I didn’t believe him several days ago, he said he was going to rehab Friday gone, but I kept seeing him online on whatsapp which made me think, what rehab facility has he gone to, as he said his phone access would be restricted and this Facebook page I’m on other members said from their experience phones are taken away and usuage restricted.

Turns out, after a few heated words he is in quarantine in another country and he is entering rehab where he is on 13th September. He said he couldn’t have coped in UK rehab and needed to get out of the country. I’m so bloody relieved he’s finally getting help for his addiction. He has been sticking to a routine whilst in quarantine, reading, writing, CA meetings online and exercising. He said he is looking forward to going rehab and finally realises it’s the right thing to do.

As you know, I think the world of him, genuinely he’s an amazing guy and has so much potential.

I’ve been in contact with him the last few days, just messaging to see how he is, but even after everything that’s gone on I never know what to say when starting off a message. I’m sure just saying hello and asking how he’s doing is enough. I really want him to come through the other side.

Cheddar Gorge, it’s a place in Somerset. It was amazing being away, the scenery and views were out of this world. You forget all the natural visual beauty this country has to offer.

How are you, Dan? Hope you’re still working a programme and keeping strong and thing’s are going well for you. X

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