[Lozzy80]

I’ve screamed , I’ve pleaded for him to just settle down for tonight …his banging and crashing around  the house freaking me out . I have work in the morning and haven’t slept most the week. Now this. The house is a total.mess it’s like he goes round in a whirlwind creating a huge mess like the worst teenager you could imagine (he’s a grown man in his mid 40s). I’ve told him it’s over I really cannot take anymore. I did threaten to call the police as I just didn’t know what else to do with him I feel I am losing my mind. Anyway he’s gone now, he is completely off his head on coke stumbling and can barely stand, bloody nose. I will now worry about him all night.

Arghhh I hate this so much. I don’t even know where to start with being able to live with him whilst we sell the house (which feels impossible given the state he keeps putting it in as soon as I’ve cleaned and tidied!) Or how am I supposed to sleep and go to work?!! Tonight has proved it’s impossible.  We own the house together so both have a right to live here , and we don’t have kids.

I am at my Witt’s end and exhausted. Totally exhausted.

[kulstar]

Sorry to hear what you’re going through. Call the police when he’s in this state, my wife did towards the end of my addiction days (Feb 2022). Severe consequences are what addicts need for that wake up call else they continue using without ramifications (any mild or medium scale ramifications don’t register due to Cocaine numbing your emotions)

[Lozzy80]

Hi Kulstar

Firstly – that’s amazing that you are now in recovery hope you continue to work on yourself, never let your guard down ..keep doing whatever it is that I’d keeping you clean

Thank you for your honest advice  most appreciated. What did the police do ? Were you arrested? What was the consequences?

I’m so scared to call the police , it will be career ending for my husband

He hasn’t been as bad as this since 4 years ago, I walked out. He got his act together for a bit , it was a really long hard rd , got help for his mental health but still continued to use just on a more modest (for him) basis.

He was making such an effort with me, and my family recently too.. seemed to be best he had been in a long time … Now this massive crash

 

 

 

 

[kulstar]

The very last night of my usage the Wifey started pressing me on various things. It all became very heated (my brothers were also at my house). I started to become highly erratic and threw a shot glass which smashed into pieces. My 9 year old daughter caught a glimpse of me from the top of the stairs and I just wanted to leave my home as I didn’t want my kids to see me like this. My wifey called the police who turned up as I was leaving. They couldn’t press charges as I hadn’t actually hit anyone and it was my house that I threw the glass in.

The police bless them then dropped me back to my hotel. I then started my recovery basically sleeping for 3 days straight before my lovely wife picked me up and brought me home. That night when the police dropped me off I just knew I was done. My 2 gorgeous kids, my amazing wifey and then there was me. How did I ever get here? Is this really me I asked myself? No.

I always knew I had much to offer this world, I just got lost on the way. Thou shall seek, shall find. You have to keep looking for that path and it will present itself

[Lozzy80]

Oh meant to add he came back within the hour …ringing the doorbell ???? at least he’s still not out wandering the streets . I presume he went out to get more . He is now in a fairly comatose state . No point speaking to him when like this he doesn’t really respond

[themidgetgem]

So sorry to hear what your going through

it’s awful loving an addict .
can I ask Kulster , what made you stop using ? I’m desperate for my husband to see he is ruining his life . He says he hates me and no longer wants to be married to me which I can accept but I think it’s just the drugs talking

I’m desperate to get him to see but really do t know what to do

[kulstar]

Hi, I’ve just brought my story back up so you might want to check it out under the Share Your Story forum
<h2 style=”-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; margin: 0.5rem 0px 1rem; font-family: ‘Big Shoulders Display’, sans-serif; color: #183264; vertical-align: baseline; font-size: inherit; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: none; caret-color: #183264;”>An Addicts Journey – Change is Possible</h2>

[kulstar]

An Addicts Journey – Change is Possible it was supposed to say, not all that mumbo jumbo!

[Lozzy80]

Thanks for sharing your story Kulstar.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I had to cover all the bills for this month and sub him for other priority debts as his full month’s wage went on coke plus still owes..  he cannot recall anything from the other night. He now says he wants to change , but can’t do it without professional help. He’s contacted some charity as a first step , first time he’s ever done thisz and is joining an online meeting tomorrow. We’ve talked a lot all day about his demons , his triggers etc. He admitted he’s scared, as he has MH issues and he’s managed to dull the bad thoughts over last few yrs but worried it’s all coming back now.</p>
 

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