[littlehappy]

I want to escape so badly from this nightmare he has created but I don’t want to stand by and watch him destroy himself….yet there is nothing I can do.

He’s so deep in drugs, alcohol and gambling yet still swears he’s clean…after almost 6 years of him going from my world to a stranger, I have watched him taking them, I’ve sat in the car while he meets one of his many dealers and I’ve had the middle of the night arguments after it’s turned him nasty and he’s decided to tell me how I’m failing at everything I do.

He’s not the man I met,

I’ve told his mum, select friends and his best mate in the hope that they will help him or at least get him to see what he’s doing. Instead his friends see him when I don’t, they take him in and partake in his binges not to bothered that for him it’s out of control.

His mum thinks I’m causing trouble and will only admit to the drink and gambling which she doesn’t see as a major problem.

He’s killing himself, he’s depressed, he’s now skipping work, and his excuses are that I’ve pulled away, that I’m stopping him seeing our baby, that I’ve stopped caring about him and that he has no problem at all!. I know he was off his nut last night and that because he couldn’t stop using he’s missed work today. His mate is long gone, no problem with his life or his job because he can control what he’s doing, not my man! Once it starts it can’t stop! 3 tickets, 6 or 7 beans and crates of beer.

I know I will loose him because it’s only getting worse, his use is crazy yet no one seems to see it, all his money is gone, he drinks rather than eats and chooses a new mate to catch up and use with because he has so many that are happy to let their hair down for a night unaware he was probably high the night before…..or he will just lock himself away and do it alone.

I have no idea what I think a rant on here will do, I’m just angry that I can’t change things, I have spoken to his doctor last time he got so low but she couldn’t confront him so he just got antidepressants and was on his way….

He won’t admit what’s going on and no one else seems to think it’s an issue but when it’s too late they will be the ones pointing fingers, accusing me of pushing him over his limit when all I’m doing is keeping it away from my children and actually trying to help him.

[stephie86]

I’m so sorry for what you are going through, I’ve had the fingers pointed at me for being controlling…when all along I just wanted a better life for her and now they are the ones locking her in the house for five days to help her!!! It is never our faults, it’s their choices and their path they choose to walk down. I also have had to protect my child and put up boundaries that I stood by no matter what everyone around her thought of them including herself. It’s been hard as I do care what people think when I shouldn’t.

Talk away this is what this forum is for! For me I will forever be greatful for this forum as it helped me realise I wasn’t the only one goi g through it and everyone’s stories are so similar, what they’re made to feel, guilt, blame, pain. This has helped me realise I wasn’t crazy when all along I was made to feel I was xx

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