[lindyloo]

Hi, I’ve been reading your post. I think you’ve been very brave and strong in making your decision to break from your partner.

Youve given hin 5 years to turn his life around and he’s not done anything to help himself get out of this vicious circle he’s in….and stopping you from getting on in life.

These addictions are so cruel and they affect everyone in their path. It doesn’t sound like he’s ready to change yet. He’s got to want to do it himself.

We’ve had problems with our son who has alcohol and drug addictions. He has his own place but the only time we see him is when he has no money for food, cigarettes petrol. He’s my son and I love him but I hate the choices he’s making and the way he uses us to get what he needs. He’s holding down a good job, but blows his wages within a week or ten days and its been that way for ages. Its exhausting as he’s so predictable.

I really sympathise with your situation, you look after yourself and move on when you’re able to ,it doesn’t look like hes going to change any time soon. I wish you the very best take all the advice and support that’s available. Lx

[feelinglost46]

Thank you for your thoughtful reply, Lindyloo. It’s refreshing to hear someone validate my decision because I keep flip flopping from thinking I’m doing the best for me and the flip side, I’m running away and giving up.

I’m sorry to hear about your son. Addiction is such an evil monster. 🙁 I hope he has an eye opening event that can push him to recovery, just as I hope the same happens for my now ex.

With my now ex, his mother and I would constantly take the brunt of his mood swings, anger, guilt tripping, etc. It’s just so hard to deal with.

As an update…

I officially took off my engagement ring yesterday, but he isn’t ready to take it back. To my knowledge, he hasn’t left and went on a binge to drown his sorrow, and I’m a little proud of him for that. He is constantly saying he knows he fucked up the only good thing in his life, and that I will move on and find someone better because that’s what I deserve since he doesn’t believe he can get through this.

It’s hard. I know deep down a lot of what he says is to try and get me to take him back. It’s so so hard to stay the course. I feel so heart broken.

I’ve told one of my friends who knew I was having issues. He’s out of state and what not but one of my best friends. I feel like I should tell more people because they can hold me accountable but I also don’t want to deal with questions or I told you so (the last from my family especially). Do you think it’s wrong of me to put that off?

[lindyloo]

Hi feeling lost

I hope you’re well and coping okay.

I just noticed that you asked a question at end of text.

My family, ie elderly parents and brother and sisters aren’t aware of my son’s addictions. They know I have anxiety and stress, but i haven’t told them that my son causes most of it.

I have 2 very close friends who I have confided in , and I feel better when I share my concerns with them. I don’t like burdening them too much though , it can get a bit heavy.

My elderly parents couldn’t handle it, my sisters would want to march round and stick up for me – bless them. Ignorance is bliss sometimes!

I hope that you are in a happier place now, life is too short. I’m trying to meditate a bit and trying to find happiness in simple things.

Take care of you. Lx

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