[kaycee90]

I feel like I should be used to it by now. It’s been going on so long. And by many people standards, as in by other people’s stories, he doesn’t drink that much. 7 bottles of red wine in 8 days. And now he’s working his way through a box (3 bottles).

How do I stop having feelings about it? Stop feeling angry. How do I stop getting knots in my stomach when I hear the bottle lid crack or the box break open. The smell of his breath. His exaggerated laugh or how he’s got no volume control when he’s drunk.

I don’t like how drinking is viewed on TV as being this great, fun thing.

I’m not sure if I have feelings for my partner anymore, to be perfectly honest. He doesn’t drink every day. But he does about 3 days in a row/5 bottles. It’s worn me down. There’s been no aggression. But it’s worn me.

I’m not sure why I’m posting this. I’m feeling annoyed. Thank you if you got to the bottom.

[roger62]

This is my first post & I totally understand the feelings you are describing. My wife drinks at least one bottle of wine a day & is drunk every single day. The only time I am able to have a reasonable conversation with her is first thing in the morning as I know that when I return after work she will be drunk again! I’ve tried to ignore it in the hope that it may be a phase but it just seems to get worse. I think you questioning your feelings is perfectly natural as it is your own self preservation as at the same time you are questioning if your partner has feelings for you. Along with the anger that I feel, I am incredibly sad for my wife for the amount of time in her life she had spent under the influence & the amount of precious time she has wasted not being close to our children & grandchildren who now avoid her when she has had a drink. Personally I do not know what to do for the best.

[81splaj]

I have all those problems and all those same feelings too. I have been married to 30 years to a functional alcoholic. It doesn’t get any easier tho I have some coping mechanisms such as gym, friendships and get away for breaks. I did almost leave but have a now older child to consider and didn’t want to rock his world. He did actually get the drinking under control for 4 happy years but then came Covid……Personally I would be considering my options.

[millers]

I live exactly the same kaycee90 I really love my husband of 14 years but am so sensitised to the noise of bottles opening etc. Never drinks on a work night but gets totally wasted every weekend holiday etc currently on day 10 of Christmas binge week off work he’s red in the face reeks of alcohol and fine today as another night ahead. Tomorrow will be a come down day before back to work where he will already be looking forward to Friday. He loves me very much and is a good man but he loves alcohol more. After final argument boxing day where he nearly convinced me it’s my fault and I’m mental I have decided to butt out and help and look after myself hence joining this forum. Sorry to rant on nice to let off steam.

[the-bard]

Sadly I’m also in the same camp and have been for 15 years. My wife’s alcholism is slowly killing her. She typically drinks 3 to 4 bottles of wine a day, everyday and will start sneaking drinks not only through the night (hidden wine bottles in her bedside cabinet) but from the moment she wakes up until she crashes out asleep on the couch in the evening. In some respect I’m past caring what happens and given up hope she will change as I have tried many times to support her but to no avail. I know unless someone wants to change they won’t so I’ve given up trying as it becomes sooo draining. I have 2 wonderful kids however I know her behaviour is taking a toll on us all. She recently had a test that showed liver function abnormalities, so my fear is cirrhosis has started as everyday i notice her physical and mental health is deteriorating, though she is still in denial she has an issue.

You never know what hand life is going to deal you, you’ve just got to play it out and try to look after yourself through the craziness and enjoy what you do have. Sometimes it’s the small wins that count.

[beeranger]

I’m in the same position too, my wife drinks a bottle and two minis every night and the wine is hidden until our girls are asleep. The alcohol is the main focus ill get messages to say can you go to the shop sadly I do buy it but its very hard saying no and then there is issues if I don’t. My wife’s health is affected now but she sees no issues and continues to drink. Sadly its part of her life and is affecting our relationship and family life. I’m on anti depressants due to the alcohol use which has been going on since 2014. She has done detox a few times and also a suicide attempt too and still life is tough for us all.

[katcool]

Hello, this is my first post. The problem I have is that my husband has no off switch with drinking. He doesn’t drink all the time but when he does he turns into another person that I do not recognise or like anymore. The other issue I have which started during lockdown is that once drunk he will order cocaine to our house. We have a young daughter. I have found residue on tables that he hasnt bothered to clean off etc. Christmas Eve just gone he rang his dealers to drop off coke leaving money outside. I happened to be leaving the Santa the key with daughter and dealers were outside in car. I’d found the money and shut the door- husband in a drunk state asleep on sofa. Told a close friend I’d had enough who spoke with him. He then did it again NYE. Weekend just gone he drank again, promised me he wouldn’t phone them, yes you guessed, same scenario as Christmas Eve. He says with him cutting down drinking it won’t happen “ as much” told him I’m not prepared to wait around and see or trust him. Feel like walking away it’s ruined our relationship. Sorry for the long post!

[beeranger]

My wife drinks alot of cola every day too when not drinking alcohol and also takes paracetamol or Co co codomol every morning after drinking alcohol. Its a shame there isn’t more we can do rather than those we love spiralling out of control. Anyone else not really drink much alcohol when they can see what it’s doing to their partners.

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