[bugs2229]

I’m really struggling to help my son. He’s 17 and been smoking cannabis daily for the last 18 months. It’s dominating his life, and ours. He hasn’t been in school since March 2020 and can’t manage a job. He seems to have anxiety and low mood. He has managed to cut it down of late….was smoking upwards of 4 a day and now at about 2 but itd still all he pretty much thinks about. He won’t talk to anyone about this, not gp, local drug and alcohol agency, counsellor….no one. He has stolen from us, threatened us, threatened to hurt himself etc. He is so distressed at times it’s awful to see. I’m so scared of where hes heading but can’t seem to stop it. Often he absolutely hates me and blames me for all that’s wrong. We used to be so close. Generally he’s very angry and has no tolerance for anything. What can I do to help him??????? I’m really desparate

[lorry321]

Sorry ???? to hear your distress. Many of us on here have children with addiction problems. If your son won’t get help, I would suggest you get help for yourself. If you engage with any local help available, support groups for the family, it will help you and it may encourage him into support.

I suffered for years without talking to anyone, you must get help, I hope your son will realise that soon ????

Sending you best wishes (p.s. I once rang the samaritans and poured heart out, they gave me some phone numbers for extra support) ????

[bugs2229]

Thank you for hearing me. I just don’t know where to turn. I have joined a group for myself but 8 find it quite hard as people there either have older children or partners and things have got worse than where we are now and it frightens me so much

[lindyloo]

Hi Bugs, welcome to the forum where everyone here has a loved one with addictions.

Thank you for sharing your story and I’m sorry to read that your son’s behaviour is causing you distress.

My son is 29 and has dabbled with drugs since 14yrs, so I can relate to everything you’re going through.

I wish I had all the answers for you, but I wanted you to know that people here understand.

I think at this age you need to be setting him boundaries, what’s not acceptable etc. It is your home and he needs to respect it.

I know Adfam homepage offer advice and support also Drugfam. The Icarus trust posts here too.

I joined the Theresa thread here, we’re all mums with sons with addictions and the ladies are all very supportive and understanding. It’s good to know that you can chat to others in similar situations.

It’s difficult to support your son until he realises he has a problem and seeks support. Please look after yourself and others in the family in the meantime.

Sending you hugs, keep in touch.

Lx ❤

[bugs2229]

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I will look into the suggestions you made. I’ve never used a forum before so I don’t really know what I’m doing!

[lindyloo]

You’re more than welcome Bugs!

No need to feel alone with this .

If you click above where it says “share your story ” there are more pages . You’ll see the Theresa thread there. There’s about 10 or more of us mums who keep in touch regularly and we all support each other through the difficult times.

Stay strong, hopefully there’s light at the tunnel soon ????

Lx

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