[h1993]

I never thought I’d end up in this predicament with somebody I truly love, I’m sure others are in worse situations I just need a little support or guidance.

My husband has/had been addicted to cocaine for the past three years.

He became aggressive, started to lie all the time and spent all of his savings.

On top of this he has depression, which he has been prescribed medication for and doesn’t take. In the initial stages, he took the medication and he shocked myself, family and friends with how happy and kind he was (the person he truly is)

More recently he decided to ‘reinvent’ himself which for his sake I was delighted to hear.

He shaved his beard, began talking about getting fit, stopped (as far as I know) taking cocaine but unfortunately has started to smoke marijuana in replacement.

This whole new character seems less motivated, less caring and laughs at me when I’m hurting.

I don’t know how to support him anymore and am finding myself pushing him away in fear of being hurt again.

I just want him to find himself again and be happy, but I also don’t want to lose him in the mean time.

Is anybody else in the same position?

I would really appreciate some advice

Thank you

[rani123]

Don’t bother with him. His happiness isn’t important your happiness is. Let me tell you my husband has had an addiction of marijuana and cocaine for years before I met him. He kept me in the dark for years and everything went unnoticed . I have been with him for 6 years now and Iv tried everything to help him. Paid debts off for him so he stops feeling depressed and turns to drugs and drink. Iv even gave him money when he needed it but he has shown no appreciation. Addicts are very sweet and charming when they need something but when you refuse to help them you will experience physical emotional and mental abuse . I’m still going through it right now as we speak . I’m fed up myself Iv lost all my assets including my home and I’m being made evicted in 3 weeks time and my husband isn’t bothered one bit because he has a home at his parents house . The arguments have been really bad between us and this is now the end of our marriage . I did my best to help me . My advise to you is get out of this relationship as fast as you can before you lose your on insanity with an addict coz that’s what’s happening..

[george35]

Hello Dear!Addiction is always hard.It is very important to get professional help in this case.Try to put him in rehab center.I was addicted to heroin for 6 years and I lost everything.Money,Friends,Respect and Trust of my parents.The situation was critical and my parents decided to put me in rehab center in Ukraine.The name of the place is MedicoMente.I was surprised when all the Detoxication passed without crave and pain.After Ibogaine session I stopped thinking about drugs.Trust me it helps.I free of drugs for 2 years now.

[icarus-trust]

Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry to read that you are having a tough time because of your husband’s cocaine addiction.

If you would like some support for yourself you might like to contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that provides support for people who are living with the impact of a partner’s addiction. We could offer you one of our trained and experienced people to talk with if you get in touch. May be speaking to one of them would help you to know what to do next and find out what other help is available to you.

You can contact The Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the best to you.

[z123]

I have recently been in the same position as you and he pushed me away also. He got anti depressants and never took them, he got offered counselling and never went. I asked him to go to CA but he thinks he’s too much of a snob for that. I offered him 14k out the house and he refused saying that money is kids’ future but now that we are completely finished he’s taking half the equity out the house. He lied and manipulated me for 8 years, I only found out about his addiction last sept. There has also been other women because the drug makes you feel good and he thought he was in invisible and went with other women obviously feeling horny on it. It affected our sex life for few years but I just thought we were just busy and tired with life ect and he has always has low moods anyway but his depression became worse with the drug and he is very nasty and vile and degraded me all the time.

You cannot help anyone who doesn’t want to help themselves and unfortunately it is very hard to come off this drug.

I’m sorry you’re going through this but my advice is to run and never look back because your husband has probably already cheated also and I know it’s not nice to hear but it comes hand in hand with cocaine, if he’s not done it already, it will happen eventually

[z123]

Oh the 14k was for private rehab for 28 days and to be honest I think he would have needed much longer in there!

His words to me were it’s a good drug to take, it makes me feel good but the next day I want to shoot myself in the face.

He will always take it and I know he will because it’s all around him, his friends and family take it and he is not willing to cut himself away from these people. Cocaine destroyed my life and my kids’ lives and I’m still going through a terrible time. He wants to take me to the gutter with him and he’s told me that, his words were I’m going to destroy you and put you on your arse with money. He’s threatened me with social and services saying if he can’t see his kids then I’m not getting them either. He doesn’t care about his kids either if he’s doing that and he is not a decent human being or a true man

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