[deborah]

Hi All. My son has been addicted to cocaine for nearly 2 years now. He has tourettes syndrome which comes with elements of autism, OCD etc, so he’s got a lot going on anyway.

He first came to me last November in a dreadful state, owing thousands, starving, living in absolute squalor. He hadn’t invited me round his flat for months, used to come to mine for dinner etc, so I really had no idea, just thought he was partying like a ‘normal’ 21 yr old.

Anyway after me and his dad (we’re divorced) figured out the extent of what was happening, we scooped him up and he came to live on my sofa whilst he sorted himself out.

That was a year ago. He’s relapsed 5 times since then, but can sometimes go 3 months clean before he does. He is managing to hold a job down, but I think he’s taking drugs to get him through the day.

I’m at my wits end now. My flat is an absolute mess – I work 11 hour shifts and when I get home, he just wants to sleep because he is so tired after work, so from 6.30/7pm he sleeps in my lounge and I go and sit on my bed all evening. I don’t see anyone or go out.

I’ve got him help and he’s on antidepressants now, but he still keeps turning back to drugs and I just can’t deal with it any more. We’re no further forward than we were a year ago, and in the meantime, I have compromised my whole life to help him.

I know we have enabled him, and we continue to enable him by providing food and shelter, but what is the alternative. He has issues with his tourettes anyway and I’m not sure he would cope on his own.

I don’t want him on the streets. I don’t know where he will go, and my worst fear is that he will take his own life and I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life, knowing that, although his choices are his choices, me taking away his shelter could be the catalyst for much much worse.

Has anyone been here? Can anyone offer any advice? He doesn’t seem to think he needs anybody other than his mum and dad to help him, and all the local help places won’t do anything until he contacts them for help.

[lindyloo]

Hi Deborah, welcome to the forum, everyone here has a loved one with addictions and also some people in recovery offering support and advice too.

Thank you for sharing your story, I’m so sorry to read that this evil drug is destroying young person’s life. Its such a difficult position to be in , as a mum you love them, but don’t want to enable them either.

I usually post on the Theresa thread. There are several of us mums with sons who have addictions and every one is so supportive and understanding.

The adfam homepage offer advice and support and the Icarus trust posts here too.

We all share the same thoughts and fears for our sons. They need to know that they are loved, but we shouldn’t have to put up with the nightmare that goes with their choices.

Please look after your own health and well-being. Confide in a close friend or keep posting here.

The problem won’t go away until the addict seeks the help and support themselves unfortunately.

My son is almost 29, he has alcohol and cocaine addictions, I can totally sympathise with you.

Take care of yourself,

Lx ❤

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