[belle80]

I have had to ask my husband to leave the family home this week

We have 2 beautiful children and have been together for 16 years.

He used cocaine before we got together, but I have never used it, and really don’t understand the need to do it

He knows how I feel and I was clear what my feelings towards it. He stopped and up until a few years ago, he didn’t take it, or so I am led to believe.

Around 3 years ago I caught him, he promised it was a 1 off and stupidly I believed him, then a year after this, he began taking it on a regular basis, building debt up to dealers, and then panicking and lying to get money to pay them back, the lies he told were gradually getting worse and I gave him an ultimatum, cocaine or his family.

He chose family and began sorting himself out, this only lasted a few months and he started drinking heavily, gambling and racking up debt.

Stupidly I’ve tried to support him, get councilling etc and then covid arrived, we were in lockdown and he couldn’t go out, drink or do anything. He started being himself again and it was so much better.

Since January he has been lying again, hiding money, burying his head in the sand over debt his owes, drinking to excess and now I have found he has started taking cocaine again and this week had to pay off a massive debt to a dealer and left us with no money

I have asked him to leave and he’s gone, he’s getting treatment for his drug problem, drinking and lying.

He promising he’ll change, get help and stop the lies, but its gone too far this time.

I dont trust him and its not fair on the children.

But why do I feel so guilty and that I am a fault? How do I trust him again? Why can he not see what he has done to the children?

[sunny77]

Honey , if you read my thread you will see I did the same thing.

They won’t see it, their brain is rewired so that can’t. Cocaine now owns his mind , sadly you are your children won’t even come into his thoughts . You may get the odd text of “ what have I done , I am so sorry “ mostly when high or on a come down but that will be followed by blame shifting anger and sadly abuse .

You did the right thing for you & your children. You won’t trust him again , addicts are always addicts , they can be addicts in recovery and lead good lives again if they get help & stay on the right path but there is no … I use to be an addict .

Sending you love & know the community is here to help . Xx

[belle80]

Thank you so much.

I’ve never felt so alone and guilty for making the right decision for my children and my sanity

Since my post I have found out it’s far worse than what it thought had been

I just can’t believe he’s lied so much and has been borrowing money from friends and has been taking it in our home, I’m beyond annoyed.

I hope for his sake he gets help and realises what he has lost

Going through the posts on here it is a comfort to see I’m not alone, but so sad at the same time how many people are affected by this.

Addiction ruins so many families

X

[sunny77]

It does honey, it’s hard to understand especially when like us you just can’t see the attraction in doing something that is ruining your health & life .

I just don’t have an addictive personality , so I had to do a lot of research to understand it. And I’m glad I did, or I would have just thought that this was something that would pass .

Just focus on you, and your children and do what’s right for them which is exactly what you are doing now . The hardest thing to do is walk away from somebody you love because it’s the right thing for them and you .

Xxx

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