[ele1215]

I wondered if anyone has any coping mechanisms when their partner/ husband goes on a cocaine bender. My husband can’t get through a Friday without coke, sometimes he can stop in the middle of the night but today he couldn’t he was up all night. Asking me if I wanted to get involved, waking me up thought the night etc. We had plans today but they have gone out the window and he lied to the people we had plans with told them we had a fight and we can’t make it. I feel so angry but what’s the point of being angry it’s not going to change anything this is the life I’m living now.

[daniela]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It can really make you feel crazy. I’m at the point where I can’t fall asleep for most of the night, because I’m stuck in my head worrying about why my boyfriend isn’t in bed next to me. He doesn’t usually go out to bars or anything at night and does cocaine in the house. Maybe I should at least be grateful for that. But sometimes I’ll get up at 4-5am and he’s still awake in the living room. Maybe once or twice I’ve been able to convince him to go to sleep, but he usually will make up excuses not to. I can no longer relax at home because I feel like I’m on constant surveillance.

I hate to admit it, but for me the coping mechanism is distance. Right now he is staying with his family, and I’m finally able to sleep at night. I’m no longer picking up his messes or feeling anxious around the house. Certain hobbies can help also. Sometimes playing guitar will get me out of my head enough to forget about what’s going on in my life.

[bt1978]

You have to ask yourself if this is what you want fr the relationship, as guaranteed unless your partner admits he has an issue and seeks help, there is very little you can do about this. You can’t do this for them, and you can’t rescue them either. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, and it seems harsh, a quick read of this forum however will show you this is most people’s experience.

[danman83]

I’m the same as your bf and believe me I’m doing everything I can to stop. I can’t stand the stuff. It’s every were. When it’s wearing off it makes you suicidal. I’ve lost mates through this. It’s awful. Does he want to stop?

[danman83]

And I’m not defending him at all BTW.

[ele1215]

Hi NaNs

No he doesn’t. It’s the only thing he enjoys doing. We had plans last weekend they didn’t happen and he had plans this morning which don’t look like they will happen either. Thank you for your perspective it’s interesting to hear from someone in a similar situation to my Husband. It does make him suicidal. It’s so hard to live with the comedown and to know it’s the only thing he finds fun because I almost take that personally. I want to be supportive but I just don’t know what to do anymore.

[danman83]

He has got to do it for himself. I hate it when I’ve planned something then I’m in bed all day recovering. You can only do so much. I’m back on a few apps, and talking to people in my situation and going through my triggers again and staying away from them.

Some people have coke off a house key. And for example… If I see a key around the house it could trigger me into getting coke as its associated with it. It’s that easy. And it’s every were in the UK now. If I could give anyone advice. It’s never to even try the stuff.

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