[linda]

Hi , unfortunately my son now 18 has used drugs since he was 13 from school , firstly he inhaled gas using balloons , smoked weed heavily , then went onto Cocaine, ketamine , and what ever else I don’t know about !!!

I have had every type of abuse thrown at me over the years including our family —violence , smashing up his bedroom , lies , going missing for days , manipulative nasty controlling behaviour , threats of trying to kill himself from an early age and now selling his possessions, and just out of control behaviour ,

I have called the police over the years , for help Iv used councillors, from the age of 14 , drug tested him every week but nothing has worked , he just keeps on smoking weed and says he will never ever stop ! As it helps him be creative and calm down ,

Now he is 18 and in the music industry as he is a DJ on and off and things have escalated out of control, he has lost his job yesterday which only lasted 7 days and the previous one too , so loss of self respect has been rewarded to him and no money !!

We have cut off all money for months now and tried to detach with love ,

He has now really become paranoid and believes people are chasing him and are after him , telling me that he has been running fast to get to safety as they where going to rob him ! he says he has tried to kill him self 4 times , and thinks if death every day !! only yesterday he said he tried stabbing and drowning himself in our bath while I was on holiday !! Which never happened and believe is manipulative towards me ! I calmed him told him he was going to be ok then he cleaned his bedroom ! Bezar behaviour ! Things are getting worse and I won’t him to go to counselling again !

My husband is a recovering alcoholic too and thankfully 12 years clean and sober ! So I know what it’s like to live with and alongside a loved ones addiction but I know that freedom is possible too and that is what I hold on too

I just can’t cope with my own flesh and blood suffering addiction, much more

I’m going to A anon tonight to get some support ,

[anonymouse2]

Hi Linda,

Are things any better now? How is your son? How are you? My situation with my 18 y/o us almost identical both in drugs of choice, music interests and aggression and violence. It’s heartbreaking.

[mum46]

Hi Linda,

not sure if you are still on this forum and how you are all doing. I have only just registered and was looking for posts about teenagers struggling with drug addiction.

I also have a 19 year old son that struggles with cannabis addiction and now with anxiety, mental health and isolation, mood swings, no job, aggression … the list goes on and on.

I found your story very interesting and I can relate to a lot of it.

How are you doing and how is he these days?

Take care

[debc]

Hi Mum46,

Welcome to the Forum, where there are lots of great advice and lots of Mums in the same situation.

I am the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), he is in Recovery at the moment, but it was 10+ years of living hell, that’s the only way I can describe it.

There is a brilliant thread on here if you search for Teresa, there are 6-7 Mums who are all in similar situations, and it is great to be able to connect with people who know exactly what you are going through.

Keep in touch on here and know that you are not on your own.

Take care

Dx

[anonymouse2]

Hello both,

Just received email notification of a response to this. My son has all the same stuff going on. How are you both coping? He is 19 years old and it’s a daily struggle.

[shenagh]

I read your situation and am going through very similar with my 18 year. Drugs, debts, stealing, hospital, beaten up and court case after court case. It is so hard x

[blossom50]

Hi

Im new to the forum and I guess looking for support in dealing my 19yr old Son cannabis habit. I’ve read the previous posts and so much resonates with me and understand the frustrations and heartache as I’m feeling the same. My son isn’t at the point of stealing, but I do think he is underplaying how dependent he has become on smoking weed. As with most, his started as recreational but now progressed to most days that Im aware of. He spends most of his time in his bedroom, struggles to get up and go to college and keep up with the workload. He failed the first year and was offered the opportunity to resit… this, you would think was a gift from the gods as he was so disappointed he had failed, however he continues to miss clases and get behind on work. He tells me he smokes because of anxiety and has social anxiety. He will smoke alone, which tells me it’s no longer recreational.

Im so scared that he won’t get past this phase and the impact on his future will increase. I think he knows it’s out of hand, but tells himself he can stop if he wanted too.

My son has ADD (element of adhd) apparently this him more vulnerable to addictions according to articles I’ve read.

How do I get him to stop and realise the damage it is causing him…. I guess that’s the million dollar question!

[anonymouse2]

Hi Blossom,

It sounds like your son’s and your situation is similar to ours. I honestly don’t know the answer in terms of getting him to stop as I have tried so much to get help and it’s proved to be a tough journey. I have paid for a private substance misuse therapist who he will engage with when he wants to (that’s their working arrangement) but although he shows more insight and says occasionally that he doesn’t want his life to be like this, his behaviours haven’t really changed. He hasn’t committed to work or college since leaving school, although he has been given extra opportunities to commit to college (extensions, extra support etc) these were not successful. Since leaving college he has made 3/6 volunteering sessions which is again some small progress. However, he has had several aggressive outburst, one leading to us calling the police because we honestly did not know what else to do. Since spending the night in custody he has talked more about change and his need for it and has, with initial encouragement to make the first phone call, engaged in harm reduction work. He has been positively validated for his engagement since then but currently there is no change in drug use behaviour and a lot of resentment because we called the police. I guess the most we can do is validate positive behaviour and support reassurance when they’re low. My son has ADHD and is suspected to be on the spectrum too. People with these conditions are more likely to turn to drugs to self-medicate. Does your soon use anything else? I was devastated to learn that mine had tried crack, ketamine, Coke, MDMA. It’s so worrying. Here for you.

[linda]

Hi , so sorry to read about your heart breaking message s , my advise is to conduct 0 tolerance and have consequences for aggressive phycotic deluded behaviour and drug use in the home I had too look after my mental health and I felt threatened

a year on it’s worked ! Iv now got support and respect from my son , drug free ! And now Under the early Intervention team and a mental health team with a prescription of sertraline and olanzapine for his phycosis and deluded thoughts , he has also been tested and has ADHD , so being medicated abd supported with that too , he still occasionally has a crisis which leads to delusion and phycosis and in turn leads to self harming with blades , AE if it is deep and needs gluing , I know how to deal with him and clean his wounds and give him medication to calm him down , it is all induced from smoking weed and drugs , but things are much more calmer and my relationship with my son is back to love not resentment and fear ! And he has a job ! So only By sticking to my rules we are at this positive point

Iv not messaged in a while as I felt I was bombarding messages to the forum every day , my son was so out of control I had to make him homeless for 3 months living with drug addicts in a hostile , he liked it as he was independent smoking and taking prescription drugs at lib without anyone challenging mother and father

I never had any contact with him for over 3 months and had a rest bite !

He came back home only when he was clean and ready for support

The Early intervention team are there waiting to support young drug users they need to be refaired via the GP ,

Thank god my son got the support he needed

I also now have intervention counciling we tried it together with my son but it was to raw for him

Good luck it’s taken my son 9 years to get to this point but there is light at the end ????????

[Author]

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