Dear Lissy,
You say you can’t live a life where you are being lied to but that is exactly what you’re doing! and even more so you are enabling this man to lie to you, use you and deceive you by not confronting him every time you find a bottle and he lies.
Whatever his backstory- no matter how traumatic and tragic the drink will heighten his anxiety and depression.
Give him an ultimatum – go to AA or the GP and get help for his drinking otherwise choose your path – see my post to that dear girl planning a wedding with an alcoholic fiancé.
You are not alone – you are a strong woman, doing your best and seeking help whilst trying to love your husband in the most difficult of situations. Get yourself some support and look after yourself first, so that his problems don’t totally destroy you both. XX