[gale]

I’ve been with my hubby for 20 years. The 1st 6years was amazing and whilst he did do drugs when first met it was usually pills (e) and this stopped quite soon after we met. 6 blissful years we had until he started to drugs socially again. He felt distant and I felt rejected. I blamed it on everything except the drugs! He stopped again and for the next around 4 years it was good again.

Then my dad died and my world shattered with regards not only to my dad but also my marriage.

Long story short, he has lied and lied about everything on the earth. He’s distant, paranoid everything everyone else has said but he always wanted to be with me. We have split up a few times and got back together but I never really knew why he was behaving like he was until now! Light bulb moment. ????

We spilt 6 months ago but still in constant contact, he left me with covid to be with his mates, he told police we’d been split for 2 years (lie) he’s taken credit cards of mine and spent them, he’s given up his job to be “self employed” yet only works now to pay for his next session. He goes to “work” and turns off his phone, doesn’t answer his calls ect.

All this has left me paranoid anxious and heartbroken. I’ve felt like I’m in purgatory, not in it but not out of it. He says all the right things to keep me hanging on but his action do the opposite.

I never could get my head round why!……. just why!

Until I started reading this. Now I’m thinking do I leave him to it or do I give my best to help him. Will he listen, will he get help, does he even want help.

I’m so confused and broken. I love the man I fell in love with but hate the cheap imitation I have right now.

[debc]

Hi Gale,

Welcome to the Forum, it’s a great place to share your story and get other people’s opinion that are going through similar situations.

I would run like the wind, it might sound harsh, but being the Mum of an addict, I would not wish this life on anyone.

Dx

[gale]

Hi lovely. Thank you for your reply. I had run and we’ve been apart for 6 months. After reading all the comments it made me realise that all his behaviour is part and parcel of his addiction nit that he’s a horrible person. If he turns it around maybe just maybe I’ll get the man back that I married. He has lost everything and is at rock bottom so hopefully the only way is up. Maybe I’m being nieve but I have to try…. at least then in my own mind I can move on knowing I dud all that I can.

[icarus-trust]

Hi Gale,

I’m sorry you are having such a hard time because of your husband’s addiction. If you feel that you could do with some help please get in touch.

I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust and we offer help to people dealing with addiction in their family. We have trained people called Family Friends who are experienced in listening and supporting people like yourself to find a way through this. If you contact the Trust you would be assigned a Family Friend who you could talk to in complete confidence.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

Good luck.

[Author]

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