[hayleealice]

Hey I’m new here and just need a space to say how I’m feeling

I was seeing my (now ex) boyfriend for a few months but a few weeks ago he relapsed. I had no idea he even used drugs. I believe it’s cocaine but he’s been so vague with everything.

He has entered some sort of treatment facility – again I have no idea where due to him not telling me – and he’s due out in a week’s time. He ended things with me when he went in due to not wanting to hurt me later on down the line and before I got too emotionally invested which I understand but surely he should have been honest from the start because now I am emotionally involved!

I found out while he’s in there that I’m pregnant and I’m kind of wishing I hadn’t told him until he’s out. He told me to be patient and wait until he comes out but I just feel so alone. He was contacting me every day (despite saying he shouldn’t have his phone) but now he’s going for days without anything

Am I being selfish? I know he needs treatment etc but is he even bothered? Is he even thinking about me? How would I get in contact if there’s an emergency or if anything happened?

I can’t help feeling like a baby is the last situation he needs right now

I’m just very confused and I have no answers to anything and I don’t know how I’m going to cope

Can anyone give me any advice? I literally have no experience with addiction whatsoever

[debc]

Hi Hayleealice,

Sorry to hear your story, it must be very difficult for you, being on the Forum is a great place to start.

From my own experience with my Son (cocaine and alcohol), when he went into Rehab, they were not allowed their phones for the first week, then after that they were only allowed for about 3 hours at night, obviously different places have different things in place. It is usually for 28 days and they usually start doing the 12 steps of recovery while they are in the rehab.

Do you have any idea where he is or anything about the place where he is?

All I can say about addiction is that it is hell, sorry but I have to be truthful, they lie, which is what I found the hardest.

My Son tells me that you have to become selfish when you are in Recovery, so that you look after yourself, perhaps that is why you have not heard from him so often.

I have put up with it for 10 years, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, which is very hard when you love someone and especially now you are pregnant, must be very hard for you.

Keep chatting on here, there are some really nice people with excellent advice.

Look after yourself and take care.

Dx

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