[doctors-wife]

Cath,

What a lovely story of commitment and love in the most difficult of times. Sounds like this man doesn’t want to hurt you and recognises that he can’t not hurt you. he wants you but he doesn’t want to hurt you, so he hurts you by not seeing you. An addicts life is a mess and anti lit’s sorted out so will yours be.

Agree boundaries (? only texting/writing/messaging) whilst you seek medical/social/emotional support for yourself and he goes to rehab.

If you love him best thing you can do is look after yourself, give him some distance and wait. If you can.

Expect to be hurt, disappointed, confused and upset and an emotional basket case for a while – this is horrendous for you. However you are strong enough to seek help here and elsewhere so remember – you are not weak you are WORRIED and strong. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t hurt.

Give him time – Rehab for him and support for you and your future could be very different. But if he won’t rehab then walk away and save yourself my dear.

Look at the teenchallenge support – it has the highest success rates of any rehab programme. XX

[devoncath]

Thank you for your lovely reply. You’ve been really helpful with your insight and helping me know how to try to keep this going forward with some element of positivity.

The teenchallenge support. Is that still relevant if we are in our forties/50?

Thank you again. It is SUCH a relief to share this with someone who “gets it”.

Thank you for your time and message xx

[devoncath]

And yes, I do love him. I adore him. And I adore what we had.

And whilst I’m comfortable with that, I’m fairly sure he has been spooked by his and my feelings that grew quite fast really.

We are too good together to lose, I will do everything I can to save us and if being together turns out to not be available to me, (who knows what he may think of me/us when he’s clean, he has only known me when he’s been using – scary thought!) I will continue to support him if he will let me for as long as he allows me xx

[doctors-wife]

Hi,

Yes if you have a teen challenge support worker in your local area then they will be happy to meet with you and or him.

Remeber supporting him does not mean enabling him, so don’t give any money, allow drugs into your home or support anything other than his rehab, counselling and building him up.

You say you are fragile but actually you are strong – much more so than he is. Falling apart now and then is normal! so do something nice today with someone who will encourage you.

XX

[Author]

Posts