[pat56]

Your story has many parallels to mine. My husbands uses alcohol, and has done off and on for years. Eventually he gets careless, and I catch him out eg find bottles,so he promises to cut down and not hide booze. He even fell over in a park, and couldn’t get up, when still on crutches after hip surgery. Ambulance took him to hospital, verdict was, a faint caused by drinking too much. In February he fell and broke the other hip, and was in hospital with no drink, for 2 weeks. He had severe withdrawal problems even with meds to help with it. He decided he’d go alcohol free from then on. He had a big blip at the end of May, but was on the whole, much better. But then the bombshell – he’s actually never stopped drinking, just cut back a bit . And has lied and lied and lied to me about it, for the last 5 months.

I don’t know the answer but like you, I feel hostile as he’s taken me for a ride with his lies for too long. The only way I have a little impact is when I loose it and end up shouting or getting really upset. That’s not really me, but I too, am right out of sympathy now. I finished breast cancer treatment in February and I want to go places and do things. He has poor health and is totally unfit all relating to “self medicating” with booze. Since Feb, I had put his recovery first, including from alcohol. He begs me not to tell anyone. What a mug. So in May, I have given him an ultimatum- get fit and and sort out the alcohol problems, or you’re out. There’s a date on the calendar. I gave him 6 months. I so hope it doesn’t come to that.

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