[rologirl21]

I had a gut feeling my husband was using cocaine and finally after 7 month he’s confessed last week.

I really don’t know how to handle the situation as I don’t know how long he’s been on it, if he’s addicted?

After 13 years and a beautiful son together we broke up at Christmas for 3 weeks due to the constant arguing about his attitude, the way he spoke to me and I told him I knew he was using cocaine, which at the time he denied.

Anyway we split up for 3 weeks and I decided to go Tenerife to get away.

While i was away he went on a coke binge, went on dating apps and god knows what he got upto but I really did not care because the way he was treating me.

We got back together after Christmas and said we would try again. We really talked and said we needed to work together and put the past behind us.

Anyway roll on to March our young sons are staying with there nanna and grandad as I work in health care and he still working as a plasterer so we did not want the kids to stay here with this coronavirus.

Over the past couple of weeks I knew he been doing coke so I made him do a test which was positive I also found 2 empty coke bags in his van.

I’m really struggling to understand

1. He must be doing it at work on his own? As the site he’s on it’s only him due to self distancing covid etc

2. He don’t go socialising he comes straight home from work. So he’s not the type of guy who goes missing for days on end etc (but I do know the lads from work do coke and have lost there wives and family’s and have addictions etc

I finally had it out with him and he said he was not addicted but as been using it as he was stressed etc before we split and all the arguing made him feel like he wanted to have a laugh with his work mates etc

Anyway I told him to leave last Friday and he stormed off no doubt using coke as he constantly called me and said he had no where to go cause of lockdown.

After a few hours I let him in and he went bed and crashed.

Next day he woke up and apologised and said he won’t use again

He ordered loads of drug test online so I can test him every other day and also said I can fit a tracker to his van so I can see exactly where he his as he wants me to gain trust again.

He’s asked me not to talk about it or ask questions but I’m really cross I have lots of questions :0

I just want advice as I just feel like giving up on him but on the Other hand he’s admitted he’s a user and he will prove he can stop?

I just don’t know what to do I’m really stressing me head about it as I feel he’s been lying and now my trust as gone

Any advise would be appreciated xxx

Ps just wanted to add he’s always blowing his nose and will never let me touch it and his van is full of tissue paper. Also found cut up straws but I knew that was from the binge he had last week.

What signs are to say they are addicted

[rologirl21]

Sorry that should read he don’t socialise after work lol and that he’s not the type to go missing for days. He’s a hard working guy in with the wrong crowd at work

[eggnchips99]

That sounds exactly like my husband 🙁

[tg1613]

Signs to show he’s addicted is by the amount he does and how often, ask him when he’s sober and try open up with him. I’m trying to recover at the moment as I was doing £30 worth 5 evenings a week. I’m going doctors tomorrow to get a plan and help written out etc as I’ve also put my relationship of 7yrs on the line. She notices when I’m on it and can tell, and I’ve been addicted for past year and half. But signs he’s on it is his mouth, probably jaw moving abit if he’s done a fair bit, sweating, gets hot quick, starts doing things he wouldn’t normally do i.e when Both watching film together he gets up does washing up or tidies up in a different room to you, blows his nose a lot etc it’s very hard to come clean off cocaine but tell him to go to his doctor to admit he’s an addict, that’s what I’m doing tomorrow so I can finally kick it out for good

[rologirl21]

Thank you for your reply.

Yes I definitely notice when he’s on it, the sweating, agitated, pupils, blowing nose.

He’s been doing it 7-8 months which makes sense to when we started as our relationship became strained etc

Since posting this he’s not touched it in-fact he’s been the guy I remember nice, helpful and loving.

I been testing him every 3 days and they all been negative.

I think by me finding out was what he wanted. He loves me I know that and agreed to online meeting, fitted a tracker etc

Maybe I caught him at the right time before the addiction took a hold.

He said he joined dating etc when we split while he was on coke I checked all the apps and the dates do tie in.

I’m no angel when we split up so I’m happy to move forward from all that nonsense cause i think when we’re depressed people do look for attention etc

It’s really good your going to the doctors as it’s not fair on you or your partner.

This drug playing with the mind and eventually will take over and until you reach rock bottom it maybe to late.

Your partner will not put up with it she will become more distant and eventually move on from you.

Get her to test you and tell her you need help.

Honestly Is the best policy.

Remember best things in life are FREE x

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