[smc]

I know my husband has been a casual cocaine user in the past. But recently it seems to have gotten out of control. He’s lying about his use- because it’s easier than listening to me nagging he says. He’s been staying out all night on benders, this seems to happen around once/twice a month including Christmas Day. And he has also left remnants in the house, we have three children and I’m horrified and have been extremely upset about the harm they may have come to. He has a high powered job or should I say had, he recently got let go. It just seems his whole life is crashing down. He often drinks a lot which leads to the cocaine use. However he downplays everything and can’t seem to take responsibility. I’m literally at the end of my tether and ready to leave and again he refuses to take this seriously. I still love him and don’t want to break up our family but I feel things can’t go on this way. His attitude seems to be that he earns the money and he deserves to spend it on what he likes even if it’s drink and drugs. If I say anything he accuses me of nagging. His lack of responsibility is destroying our family. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

[danman83]

Hi there. Im doing my very best to stop coke. Ive lapsed 2 times in 3 month. I cannot stand the stuff.

And i am doing my best to stop. I only had it once every couple of week. But im an addict. And your husband is and needs to accept it.

Alcohol is my main trigger. The sec im drinking , i want to pick some coke up. And i do!. Its a vicious cycle.

Ive put my gf through so much crap

It sends me suicidal and depressed. I wish i never had the stuff.

Now your husband needs to admit he has a problem and that he wants to quit it. Its only going to get worse for him.

He needs to stop drinking. Id give you loads of advice how to stop. But there is no point if he does not just yet.

Watch louise clarke on you tube crack-cocaine part123.. i cant recommend her enough. She will teach you alot about the drug and how to stop. Its a disease and its a sneaky drug. Feel free to ask me anything. Good luck

[smc]

Thank you for your reply. I don’t think I even realised he is an addict but it makes a lot of sense. He’s always blaming others, stress, me, his job. He lashes out and is very hurtful to anyone who says anything to him about his lifestyle, mainly me and his family, it’s extremely hurtful. I’ve asked him to leave, even for a while but he refuses. This weekend he left remnants of cocaine around the house twice in reach of our baby. I’m distraught but he is just acting like nothing happened and is being very spiteful towards me because I’m upset. There’s no way he’s ready to accept he has a problem. Because he only does coke when he goes out a few times a month he seems to think it’s ok but like I said it’s destroying our family. I just don’t know what the next step is? I have the support of his family who are equally upset but they don’t live nearby. He won’t admit there is a problem and I feel trapped.

[danman83]

It worrys me like mad if my kids found what i had. Or it landed on the floor .

He should be worried about that.

He really does sound like he couldnt care less. But thats what it does to some people. He could be on more than you think. It makes you lie a hell of a lot.

The only things i can suggest are.. keep going as you are and bite your tongue.

Him wanting help and help him out, which he doesnt seem to want.

Tell him to at least cut down for now.

Or tell him if he doesnt change soon and stop you are leaving and you are going to start a fresh. But thats entirely up to you.

Ive seen so many stories on here how it effects women because there partners use , and have no intentions to stop and its not nice. He is obvioulsy thinking of number 1 , and maybe you should to!

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