[nellie22]

Hello everyone I stumbled across this website while researching how to speak to my husband. My husband is the most amazing man to grace this planet and I genuinely mean that, we have a great life, wonderful home, good jobs and beautiful kids. My husband earns a substantial amount of money with work so money is never a issue for us never has been even though every time he drinks he has to use cocaine. When we first start dating I didn’t realise he was a social user as he likes to put it. When I did find out I tried to leave him but he convinced me he would stop as he doesn’t need it and only uses the odd time ( how silly of me ) It got to the stage where I convinced myself it didn’t bother me when it did I just stuck the problem into a locked box is the only way to describe it and pretended it wasn’t there. Why ? Because honestly we have a good life, we are happy well I still am happy I love him so much he’s an amazing husband and father despite that one flaw, he’s never done anything untoward me or the children but deep down subconsciously that locked box makes me unhappy and for the first time in 10 years iv actually considered a separation after catching him in the act while our children slept one night it made me physically sick. And it got me thinking? Why does he need this every time he drinks and it finally clicked. Because he’s an addict. And after so many years of trying to except his flaw I don’t want to anymore I can’t and I won’t. I don’t use drugs myself never have. When I caught him in the act I was livid i made this known to him told him he needs help and went to bed. I need to address the elephant in the room now cause I haven’t spoken to him since we just carry on around the house as normal in front of the kids. I need some courage to speak to him to ask him to seek help for his addiction. He doesn’t think he has a problem it’s a “social” thing everyone does it apparently. That’s his attitude all these years. Any advice is greatly appreciated i can’t speak to family or friends as I haven’t kept this to myself all these years I don’t want to lose my husband or this marriage it’s amazing except this one flaw tarnishing it.

[icarus-trust]

Hi ,

Thanks for sharing your story. I’m really sorry that you can’t talk to anyone about your husband’s drug habit so am glad that you have found this forum. If you would like someone else to talk things through with please contact us at Icarus Trust as we are a charity that offers support to people dealing with addiction in their family. If you contact us you could speak with one of our trained and experienced Family Friends who can let you know what other support can be available.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the best.

[Author]

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