[unicorn13]

I feel terrified for the future. My husband admitted ( was found out) 6 months ago (less 3 days!) that he had been dealing with a cocaine addiction for 5 or so years. He sought help quickly and had been doing amazingly well and literally with no warning last night he bought coke again!

I have complete control of the finances after him running up £40k debt and he had to tell me that money had gone from.our account but said it was an old debt of £80! So desperate to pay at 4.30am! He then admitted at lunchtime that he had got some coke (which I knew) but he lied to my face for a good few hours and felt like we were back to the beginning! To be fair to him he has contacted his therapist so wants help but I’m completely broken! Is this my life now just waiting for the next relapse?

[purpleheart]

Hi, I’m in the same predicament right now as you – I found out my husband had a coke problem at Christmas but he also drinks nearly every night . He refused professional help though and said he was managing it himself .

But Over the months I’ve just found myself watching him, looking for clues all the time and so much resentment because I feel like he’s smashed our bubble ( I know that sounds selfish don’t mean to be). Last night whilst I was on a mums night out he dropped off the waggon and unbeknown to me was using and drinking very heavily whilst our little kids were in bed. He has his own business that has suffered since covid and the last couple of months he can’t get up in a morning and fobs work off at the drop of a hat . Now we have cash flow issues and I rely on him financially since we had our kids .

He’s been quite aggressive in arguments last few weeks too I should of clicked sooner really . I’m shattered , I have no more tears and I can’t bear to think of my life running the same circle for the next umpteen years. I’m frightened too that my boys will click on to his boozing and even the drugs as they get older.

I feel your pain – I have no advice I’m sorry but you are strong and you will get past this eventually – sending love and strength xx

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