[hox]

Well, this morning my husband left our marital home.

I’m devastated as you all would know. He has taken most of his clothes but left some of his important documents. Says he has no love for me and he doesn’t know why, he cannot explain why we have gone from such a loving couple to him having absolutely no emotion whatsoever, we both have cried. Not sure why he is crying but there you go, he says its because he’s been married to me for over fourteen years. He asked if he could collect the rest of his clothes at some point but I said no, it hurts so much to see him and I have taken his key off him.

Strong or foolish I don’t know. I’m now on my own.

Cocaine has ruined our lives even if he doesn’t know it himself. I know that I can do no more and he says he can look after himself.

[dfh]

Use this time to look after yourself. You need to leave him to do whatever it is he feels he needs to do. Cocaine causes major disruptions in brain chemistry, extreme highs but also extreme lows. He may be feeling guilty and disappointment in himself. Find a local group for families of addicts and go. More insight is key and you can learn how to help in the best way. Lool for support for him so you can suggest it to him, she’s him a contact number or day/time/place so he has the choice to go if he really wants help. That’s all you can do. I’m so sorry you are going through this. Hope you have someone to talk to. I’ll be around on here for the foreseeable as my partner is addicted to crack cocaine and I’m in same boat as you.

[hox]

I’m doing my best to look after myself.

I now realise that it does disrupt the brain chemistry as he wouldn’t be like this it is totally out of character. I don’t know if he feels guilty taking cocaine as he doesn’t admit he has a problem. He has told me it is disgusting sniffing but he still does it and he rubs his gums.

He has to do what he wants to do even if the comedowns are outside the security of our home. I’m here if needed, but our home is not going to be used like a hotel as it has been for nine months.

So many of us in this situation.

[danman83]

So sorry hox. Hope your ok

[hox]

Thanks Dan.

I’ve had my moments but trying to stay strong.

[laura86]

Sorry to hear this Hox, he probably doesn’t know how to feel, because Cocaine supresses emotion, well at least that’s what my husband says. I completely understand not wanting to see your husband. I was the same. I didn’t see mine for 2 weeks when we split up. The emotion was too raw for me to deal with and I knew seeing him would make it worse. Do you know where he is staying? Luckily my husband, had a good family member that he Is living with. I attended a group, that supports people with addicts in their family. I have found it very useful. It’s nice to talk and offload to people, in the same position as myself. The most important thing you need to do, is take care of yourself. We are all hear on this forum, to support you in anyway we can.

[hox]

Thanks Laura. It is too raw to deal with but he doesn’t understand this. He now all of a sudden wants a divorce before his court case in four weeks, I’ve refused as I’m not ready. I don’t know where he is staying. Last time he went for about a week, he slept in his van and then went to his nephews. There lies the problem. His nephew deals cocaine and grows cannabis. There is a group in another town that I could go to, I might be able to manage it. (Anxiety) I do thank everyone for their support on here.

[icarus-trust]

I’m so sorry Hox to read this.

Take care of yourself and try the support group if you can.

All the best.

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