I’ve been married 21 years. My husband was recently in the hospital. The doctors could not figure out what was wrong with him. No covid, just a touch of colitis. But his kidney’s were failing and other issues. I was terrified that he was going to die. He was released on Wednesday as stable enough to go home. On Friday he said he was going fishing. That he felt good enough, strong enough, to paddle his kayak. On his way home he wrecked and totaled his car. Saturday morning I found his meth stash where he had dropped it on the floor and his pipe in a pair of wet “fishing” pants. I am truly undone by this. I had no idea. I feel so betrayed, lied to, made a fool of, etc. etc. I don’t know if I can cope with this situation. I feel like I have been living a lie the past 21 years.