Husband’s drink problem: how do I make the move to leave?

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      anonymous-wife
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      I never post on public forums but I need a bit of support and advice if there’s any out there. I don’t even know if this is the right space for this.

      Been married for 19 years but together for about 26 for all the years I’ve known my husband he’s had a problem with drink. His temperament changes when he is drunk and he can be downright rotten.

      He’s done lots of things because of the demon drink including getting a DUI years ago for crashing his car after arguing with me while he was drunk, he’s got into numerous fights with his family, my family, ruined holidays by kicking off at me and our children, he’s placed his hands around our 18 year old son’s throat, he’s stormed off on me on nights out, leaving me to get myself home and now finally over the weekend, he locked me out of our home overnight when he stormed off after we had a night out with our adult kids.

      My husband holds down a very professional job, where the drinking culture is encouraged. On meeting him, he is a very nice person and people around us would be very surprised to know how he behaves towards us. They probably wouldn’t believe me.

      Our eldest child has had mental health issues and I’m convinced it’s because of my husband’s drink problem behaviour.

      It’s as though he suddenly hates us when he drinks. I’m walking on eggshells when he drinks for fear of annoying him because it usually results in an argument or a drama.

      I’m absolutely at the end of my tether with it and I want to leave. But, I just cannot make the move. I’m scared as he does everything, makes all decisions, deals with all the finances. I’m scared of being isolated on my own too as I miss the relationship when he’s sober and considerate. His attitude is that he’s very good to me and our family, our relationship is mostly good and I’m kicking the ar** out of him locking me out he says I should move on. But, I feel worthless and being locked out of our home overnight was frightening.

      Have any others on here been through similar and come out the other side? I honestly don’t have the strength to get out and I don’t want to leave my home. How do I do it?

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