[boring123]

Hi everyone

I have never been on one of these sites before but I’m feeling really alone that I have no one to talk to and going out of my mind thinking I am being paranoid.

So basically my husband drinks quite a lot, he’s recently had the reversal so we can try for baby but his priorities seem to lay more with the drink that he’s passed out on a night. I keep bringing it up and asking him to cut back but I just get told “I’m boring” and tonight I went to my car at tea time and I saw his van back so I thought I would sneak up on him and make him jump!! I had the shock of my life to find him behind the van downing a bottle of wine before he came in the house. I asked him why and he said I would only winge if he bought it in the house??? He finished a second bottle when he got in.

Whats everyone’s thoughts on this? Am I looking to much into this? Its getting very lonely sat on my own on a night while he’s passed out. <

[retroheadz]

Hello! Don’t feel like your alone especially if you read some of the stories on this site. Your situation is very much familiar to most people who post so good for you for reaching out. Anyway, I’m sure you don’t need telling that alcohol is a drug! and absolutely the worst drug available to humanity so using it on a regular basis is definitely a way of medicating. If your partner is at the stage of drinking more than twice a week it is proven that it’s a problem and hiding it is the signal for danger ⛔️ I know that this for a fact as my childhood was surrounded by sneaky alcoholics. He almost DEFINITELY has a problem and needs professional help and not just a talk around the dining table because alcohol has a grip stronger than any other drug. I’m not going to lecture you on when is a good time to have a child but alcohol is absolutely evil and don’t let the critics convince you otherwise. Yes, a little cheeky pint or glass of wine helps relieve the stress but so will cocaine, because cocaine is brilliant, but it will rob you of your life and unless you can control drugs then you will loose. I wish I could say it will be just a phase but it never is ???? having a drink and passing out is the point that you need professional guidance and how to address that is another question. I feel for you ????

[debc]

Hi Boring123 (I’m sure your not boring),

Welcome to the Forum. I’m sure you feel better for just being be able to share your story. It’s a great place to come and get advice from people in similar situations.

I certainly don’t think that you are looking too much into the situation. Your Husband seems to be drinking an awful lot and drinking a bottle of wine before he comes in means he’s also trying to hide his drinking as well. When he’s not drinking, could you try and talk to him?

I would be quite concerned especially as you are meant to be trying for a baby, do you think he feels under pressure about this?

Don’t think that you are alone, keep in touch on here.

Take care.

Dx

[hope1]

Hi, not so boring123. Can’t call you boring 123

You are not alone, lots and lots of people are going through what you are. And you have every right to be concerned. He deffo has a problem. He is hiding how much he drinks, my partner does that, hides it in the house, car even in coloured water bottles so it looks like he is drinking water !

Speak to him when he hasn’t had a drink about your fears. But have planned what you want to say and the point you want to make. And stay calm.

It’s not easy, but it will help a little talking to strangers on here. Helps make you stronger and is a release.

[boring123]

Hi everyone thank you for your replys. I feel really alone like I can’t talk to people as I feel like they are judging me.

I don’t think the trying for a baby has got anything to do with it as he was the one that had to convince me more. He drank a lot before we got together like 4 bottles of wine a night amd he did cut down.

I have noticed before that empty spirit bottles have been but back in the rack so ot doesn’t look like he has drank them and we have spoke about it and he says he works hard, pays the bills so why can’t he have a drink on a night when he enjoys it. ( he says he hasn’t got a problem because he doesn’t drink as soon as he wakes up) I keep thinking to myself “how many other times has he downed a bottle of wine before coming in the house”.

Do all you have the same issue off the bedroom smelling like stale alcohol on a morning aswell? As I hate it makes me feel sick.

[boring123]

Hi everyone thank you for your replys. I feel really alone like I can’t talk to people as I feel like they are judging me.

I don’t think the trying for a baby has got anything to do with it as he was the one that had to convince me more. He drank a lot before we got together like 4 bottles of wine a night amd he did cut down.

I have noticed before that empty spirit bottles have been but back in the rack so ot doesn’t look like he has drank them and we have spoke about it and he says he works hard, pays the bills so why can’t he have a drink on a night when he enjoys it. ( he says he hasn’t got a problem because he doesn’t drink as soon as he wakes up) I keep thinking to myself “how many other times has he downed a bottle of wine before coming in the house”.

Do all you have the same issue off the bedroom smelling like stale alcohol on a morning aswell? As I hate it makes me feel sick.

[hope1]

Hi there not so boring 123

I can relate to the putting the bottles back empty. And that he pays the bills and works hard so why shouldn’t he have a drink.

and yes the room smells of alcohol….I also hate it……hate the smell. This last four months I cannot even face having a drink with a meal….makes me feel sick. I don’t drink now.

You don’t have to drink in a morning to have a problem.

[retroheadz]

Hope 1, everything you say is absolutely true and you definitely don’t need alcohol in your life. Look what it has done to your life and decide if it’s really worth doing.

The smell in the morning, every morning for months and for years is demoralising and painful to witness.

People who say if “I don’t drink in a morning” are in denial and absolutely need professional help to cure this addiction. If you drink alcohol in small doses then all that means is you have more will power than the next person. Why do people drink alcohol? To get a buzz! No other reason. Let’s face it, it tastes horrible anyway ????

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