Thanks for posting. Sorry that you are so worried about your husband’s drinking.
I work for a charity called Icarus Trust. we offer help to people dealing with addiction in their family. We have specially trained and experienced Family Friends, one of whom would talk with you if you get in touch. May be talking with some one who understands what you are going through will help to answer some of your questions.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the best.