[gandmrsmuir]

I am angry at the alcoholics in my family.  I am am angry at my brother in law for the way he treated me when I was a young teenager.  He would get drunk and sexually harass me when I was working at his business for free to help out my sister at the behest of our mother.  He never had money to pay my wages but he always had money to go to the bar, get drunk, and then come back and sexually harass me.  I was a shy, awkward  16 – 17 year old and he would ask me sexual questions and ask me to watch porn with him.  I was not interested in any of that shit but when I would say no or ignore him he would harass me more and make fun of my body.  It totally messed with my head.  What a complete asshole!   He was married to my sister.  I only escaped when I went to college. I only got brave enough to tell my mother when I was in college. Then when I was about 35 the bastard got sober and I was on his list of people he had to “apologize” too.  So he comes to my house with his wife, my sister, crying of course, how very lovely, and their two kids ages about 11 and 12, looking pained by all this shit, to make this dramatic apology without any advance warning.  My husband was there and I never told him about the shitty things my brother in law did to me when I was a teenager.  I had generally avoided  him for 20 years as best I could.  He did not go into details during the apology thankfully but I was so taken aback and felt so badly for my sister and her kids I blurted out something like – “You have nothing to apologize for you are a great brother in law.” Well, that was a complete lie but I was not expecting this drama.  For any of you out there thinking about apologizing to someone you hurt when you were drunk- send a card, send a letter, give them some forewarning, mostly though – give them a choice. They were the victim.  Don’t make it worse with your drama.  Maybe they don’t want your stupid lame ass apology.  Ask them if you can make a donation in their name or something like that and don’t bring family members along, especially children.  WTF was that about?  Don’t drag your children into the hell you created. Frankly it all seems narcissistic and part of me thinks all addicts are narcissists.  They can never put anyone else in front of themselves.  It is all about them.  Always and all the time.  Drunk or sober they need all the attention.  I have been holding this in a long time.  Thank you for letting me tell someone what happened and how hurtful it was to me.

[thistim3]

What a mess! I so agree with all you just said (My mother was a mean drunk, who never apologized about anything). I’m surprised your brother-in-law (BIL) remembers his filthy behavior.  What another miserable moment to put you through. With his wife, your sister, and his kids there! Awful!

[Author]

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