[smm23]

Hello,

I think I can get some amount of emotional support on this topic since I am unable to talk to anyone in my life in regard to the matter. My boyfriend is an opiate user and I think he is in a hole he has no desire to get out. Before we started dating he was very open about his history of opiates and smoking heroin. At the time he was two years clean but it was obvious he was always in a little pain (since he started using pain meds when he was younger from a broken ankle). Over the course of 2 years he relapsed twice and was very open with me about it. Both times he called me and told me what happened and I helped him recover from those incidences. He got into a car crash last September and has been very off, he lost his job and had trouble getting back in school cause of seizures that developed from the accident. His temper is a bit shorter and he just seems like he is in pain (he is 26 and started using his cane again). He was on suboxone for a little while and now on the vivitrol shot (so he tells me). He has a seizure disorder and sometimes seems “out” of it and that is normal, the problem is these seizure symptoms are very similar to drug behaviors (passing out, slurring words, confused). Recently he has been going to the bathroom for long duration of time (and in public) and comes back with his eyes pinpoint and slurred talking. I am not an idiot, I know he is snorting or smoking something but he says its from his seizures. There is a certain smell that is attached to him every time this happens and I fucking hate that smell. I will ask him about it and for some reason he is not admitting he is using. He tells me he cant talk to me anymore. I love him so much and he is my best friend and it really sucks because whenever he uses he comes back from the bathroom in such a sweet mood and is very loving. But I am so tired. When I see him like this I dont even want to say anything anymore because its the same conversation and he turns it on me in a way and gets upset. He told me last month he was scared that he is on something and is getting high but doesn’t recall doing it. I want to know if anyone has experienced this? I am confused how he physically is going to a bathroom with stuff already on him and him getting high but having no recollection. It may be stupid for me to think thats possible, it just doesn’t make sense he told me he was scared he might be high but lying about it. I am aware its also something for him to say to pretend like he is reaching out for help.I am scared he is going to die any day. I am so tired, I am an EMT in a big city and I took a break from my job because I witness so many overdoses and come home to my boyfriend it was just too much. I am so scared because if he is on the vivitrol shot he has an even higher chance of overdosing. I dont want to break up with him, I have no one else in my life and he is my person. I am scared he is using cause of me so I dont have to see him in pain. I hate this, I have so much love for him and I did not think I would ever be in this type of situation. He talks about our future all the time and I know he means it but I do not think he will even make it. I dont know what I am looking for out of this post, I just want to know what you would do and if someone has been in this situation.

[k-mdone]

Go get him on methadone

[mammyessex]

Hi I’m really sorry you are also going through this , it can feel a very lonely existence at times , my husband refuses to a knowledge his addiction I am in your position we can’t make them admit they need help or make them

Accepts help it’s extremely frustrating I know but it’s out of our control , trying js making myself Ill , you can only encourage him to seek help and try and look after yourself as much as possible do his family no is there anyone you confide in to help you with some emotional support ?

I’m

Married with kids so I have to put them

First , there will come a time when you yourself will realise that you have to put you first , if he’s doesn’t get better you could be facing years and years of this and that is no life x

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