[sh82]

My wife and I have been together 12 years. For multiple years during our relationship she lied about drinking. She had tried medication assistance, AA meetings, sobriety plans, and therapy but nothing has stuck. She tends to relapse every few months. Her longest period sober was almost a year after a scary doctor’s visit. Now she has been sober or so I assume since this past January until this week. I can tell when she is intoxicated and confronted her about it and she continuously lied about it. I absolutely hate the drinking but it’s the lying that I can’t stand more. At this point, she has relapsed too many times to count and I don’t trust that she is telling me the truth about her drinking. I have been as supportive as I can be but I think I finally have come to the point where I deserve better. How do I know when it is time to leave?

[soph]

By your heading ‘I deserve better’ It speaks volumes, you know why? Because for you to say that you’ve already realised that you need to leave because you want to be happy and reading your story you don’t sound happy. You’ve tried being a support for years and have stuck out each relapse but the trust has gone and its hard to keep a relationship going without the trust. If it helps, maybe leave and say you are leaving but will still be around to support her when she needs. You never know, it maybe what she needs to stick to quitting as soon as shes on her own then you can slowly rebuild the trust

[Author]

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