[motherindistress]

I have a 24 year old very intelligent son who was studying Neuroscience. He has suffered from depression and anxiety for years he then had an emergency operation in the middle of his A Level exams when he was 18 which has given him chronic pain ever since.

He was very addicted to weed for years and has tried many other drugs, he is lucky to have private health through us and he spent a month in The Priory 4 years ago which got him off the weed but not much else. He is now addicted to Codeine, Oxy, Speed and is shoving Ket up his nose as he heard that it’s a new treatment for depression, they give it in a form of a spray but he breaks it up and shoves it up his nose with the speed. He is just about holding down a shit job, I have no idea why they keep him on, he can be quite charming. He has no friends and the only time he leaves his room is to go to work, which he wouldn’t make if we didn’t wake him every day.

This week he has not gone to work and has never left his bed, he needs to be in hospital, he doesn’t even receive therapy anymore as they won’t treat him when he’s self medicating and he won’t stop. He has been living off crisps, kitkats and yoghurt and wonders why he has no energy, for an intelligent man he is very stupid at times. If he loses this job then I don’t know how he will pay for his illegal prescription drugs that he is paying a fortune for, all his earnings goes on drugs. It is like living with a 24 year old teenager, when you try to talk to him he ignores you and puts his covers over his head and then wonders why you get annoyed. I would ask him to leave but he has nowhere to go but I can’t continue like this, his dad and I just don’t have the tools to deal with him, it is making us so ill

[mejules]

I am new to this forum but not new to being a mother of an addict. My son’s poison is alcohol. I think I was where you are 10 years ago, which I know won’t give you any solace as I am still his mum and still battling. Tonight I finally feel like giving up on him, but I have been there before and just cannot walk away. But I have learnt that sheilding them and giving them somewhere warm and safe to carry on with their addiction doesn’t help them. I have walked away so many times but cannot help but be there in his moments of absolute despair. I don’t know if I have to take that further step of completely walking away. I am sending you love and hugs. You know if you do tell him to leave, for your sakes and sanity, he will actually survive. Well that’s about 90% correct, it’s living with the 10% that is heartbreaking. I feel like I am being negative, but you both need to look at looking after yourselves. I just want to say I totally understand and get you. Being parents of a totally normal human being that’s taken over by substance abuse is just the worst thing. Just sending you so much love x

[motherindistress]

Thank you Mejules, I know you’re right, I have a younger son too, who deals with it so well but he’s still having to live with it. I’m so sorry to hear you are still having the same battles, sending you lots of hugs x

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