[smarker]

Hey,

I have been in your situation, it’s awful I thought I was going insane. My boyfriend used to gaslight me too, saying I was crazy and that things I saw wasn’t true. It was mental but I stuck by my word always. I knew I was right and one day after months I got my evidence and confronted him. He admitted to everything and I left, got a one way abroad and told him I was done. That broke me but I needed to get away for myself. I wouldn’t be with someone who took drugs especially behind my back!! Anyway fast forward to now we’re in a great place, he said he would do anything to get me back so he did, he sorted everything including stopping the drugs, cut off friends, off social media etc. He occasionally smokes weed to help him sleep but the cocaine has been out the picture for 6+ months now. He’s a changed man, I have home drug tests if I have any worries and he knows I’ll be gone if it happens again, it took a lot for me to come back but I love him so much and he’s amazing, but I hated him when he was on that crap. All I can say, and advise for you is stay strong, so what’s right for you. Give him the ultimatum, it’s YOUR house and it is not acceptable to have drugs dropped off, you won’t tolerate it. He quits or you leave. Too many people are suffering and it’s not ok. Always here to talk xxx

[res19]

Thank you for your reply, it’s good to know that I’m not the only one who has been through it, although in an ideal world, no one should have to go through.

I just wish I had the drive to leave him, I am my own worst enemy as I have given him ultimatums before and never stuck to them, which is why the situation has continued.

I wish I knew why I was staying, like I said I don’t rely on him for anything, and yes I love him but slowly think I am falling out of love with him.

The worst thing is the gaslighting, making you feel like you are going mad and seeing things and even when you know you are not, they just deny everything and it’s like talking to a wall.

I said to him “quit or il leave” he finally admitted to having a drug addiction and that he wants help, yet he’s spent the last two days walking around like he’s fine and nothing has changed. I honestly don’t know how I have ended up here.

[icarus-trust]

Hi,

I’m so sorry to read your post and see the situation you are facing with your boyfriend’s drug taking. I’m glad that you have found this forum so that you won’t feel so alone. It’s difficult when you can’t talk to people about what you are dealing with. I work for a charity called Icarus trust. We offer help and support to families dealing with addiction – people like yourself. if you get in touch one of our trained and experienced Family Friends will talk with you and maybe help you to find a way forward.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the best to you.

[leda]

Whilst you still have your own house and job- I think you need to get independent of him. Otherwise it will creep further into your life and you might end up losing what stability you have. I would also recommend keeping a private journal to get your emotions out onto paper- also it confirms what is truth and what is a lie. In my opinion, you really need to get out now. I know it is difficult- I am still going through it with a long time partner- but he eroded all my self confidence and self esteem and I am separating from him with nothing left. I should have left years ago- but at least I am leaving now, but I am starting from scratch with my life because of it.

[esta]

Make the choice for a good life

[Author]

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