[cutie_pie07]

To make a long story short, I met my husband shortly after he served a 6 year sentence in federal prison for a meth charge. We met in church. He was apart of a ministry for recovering addicts to stay on the right track, etc. It was VERY clear in the beginning that drugs no longer had control over his life. In fact, the first 8 years of our relationship/marriage he showed absolutely no signs that he was using anything.

Shortly after his dad passed a little over a year ago was when I started noticing changes. I originally thought it was just severe depression from losing his dad. I saw no traces of drugs whatsoever in the beginning but that shortly changed.  In the beginning, he lied about it when I would find it, would always be some excuse to why it got there or how it wasn’t his. I have tried so hard in the little over year of knowing. I have offered getting him addiction help. Have tried being his friend/listening ear and tried to understand. And I have just straight up cussed him out and told him how much of a worthless POS he is for not only risking losing his family not once but TWICE (he was married prior and she divorced him while he was incarcerated) NOTHING HELPS!  I love him so much and I’m so scared that I’m either going to find him dead soon or I’m going to get a call, again, that they had to Narcan him. He actually tried to keep that hidden from me but I knew of the EMT on duty and he told me what really happened.  I know this is something he’s going to have to do on his own but I just can’t sit around and wait anymore. How do some women do it for years and years? I watched my sister n law do it for 9 years (& she did it another 13 years prior to that before I knew her) the only thing that woke my brother n law up was because his son straight told him if he couldn’t get his life right then to never expect to have anything to do with your grandson and he literally changed over night!  I never find the right words. I cry myself to sleep almost every night.

And to top that ALL off he left the house super early this morning, but I happened to have my Apple Watch in my car that he drove and followed him and ended up on a dirt road with a woman in the car with him. They weren’t doing anything when I pulled up. They both swear up and down she was just “buying ice.” And she was like “baby I know this looks bad but I promise I’m just buying drugs, this ain’t about sex” as if that makes me feel any better. I still don’t know if I even believe all of that because why go to a random dirt road?

I’m  just so tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I want to walk away but I love him to damn much and I just want him to get better. He’s such an amazing person. He is literally the light of every party and so many people idolize him. If they knew about this, they would be crushed.

what do I do? What do I say? Help!

[frankie]

Hello cutie pie. I read you post, no one replied and usually I just read posts. I think you are from the states but it doesn’t matter we all hurt & cry. I’m probably your mums age, my son is 25. Stay strong for your babies, I made that choice a long time ago and left. Made a life for him and me. I promised myself I would never go back to that again. Hey here I am. The difference is you are young & although desperate you will get past this. In every situation in life a line has to be drawn. People cross it & they hurt you or don’t add to your life… move on. I love my husband but I can’t take much more. I know worse case I will get though it. He starts detox next week & currently he is vile & hateful towards me. Just left a restaurant & walked home because of it. I have little empathy left for him or respect. Look after you and your children, those days are precious. You will get through this. Make the right decisions & enjoy life again. I wish you all the best x

[thistim3]

Awful that are having to live this nightmare.
Figure out a plan to get away from him, because you (and your children) are not safe around him while he is actively using.

[Jake Koleman]

try using antidepressants. This would help with the depression and help your husband avoid drug use

[Author]

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