[yuumei]

Hello,

My father is currently self-destructing and I don’t know what to do to help him. It’s a long story, but the basics are that he is a functioning alcoholic, we think a drug user and a compulsive liar too.

He has been drinking all his life but I think I didn’t notice for a long time. It’s only in the last 2-3 years that it has gone out of control. He got arrested, had a nervous breakdown, got questioned, had another breakdown, got sectioned and sent to a hospital for a while, has broken up with is wife of 30+ years, now has no home and is living on the street/temporary accommodation.

I have been speaking with the family and we all think that he has been lying to us for a very long time. Not just because of the drinking but potentially drug use and we don’t even know what the police are questioning him about.

I am the only person in the family left speaking to him and I don’t know how to help. I want to help but he just isn’t telling us the truth.

I’m currently paying for hotels for him to stay in every now and then, but he seems more concerned about the people on the street around him than his family. Maybe he just doesn’t want to think about us.

I want to help him but I don’t know how, he refuses to go to any AA/etc. meetings, says he has tried giving up but keeps going back. I would go with him but I live a long distance away and need to work even if he did agree to go.

I’m currently wondering if I should do an “intervention” of sorts and say “Get help, or I’m not talking to you.” But he is old, he is 66 and I think if he stays outside much longer he may not last. Certainly if I stop talking to him as-well.

Anyway, I thought I’d share this and see if anyone else has been in a similar situation.

Wish you all the best.

[Author]

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