[tassha]

I really feel like I am so done with my brother. He’s been on this stuff for 18 years or so. Through on going asking for money, demanding, blackmailing, suicidal acts and intimidation i really always say im done but am I actually? I cant deal with this anymore. I feel like I have gone nuts and have so much anger and hurt inside me that I feel like i can be capable of anything if i lose it one day. I don’t know why these addicts are this way really its not an illness if anyone says that. Its just an excuse. Can they not see they are ruining their lives as well as everyone else around them. What can make them open their eyes!!!! I really don’t get it. He is under a drug + alcohol service but I find them so useless, they do nothing for him, just talk and prescribe the methadone, surely their job should go more beyond that otherwise how will addicts get help and encouragement to stop. They know addicts lie through their teeth and good at masking their habits, pretending they are ”doing fine”, ”slowing down”, ”giving up” but actually what do they know!!? It really annoys me, maybe its just my area. They are there for a reason, there’s no point if they are not able to help the individual. I understand that it’s at the users own will, but surely there should be more engagement or something, obviously due to COVID it is slightly different but has always been of no use. Is it just my area? Does anyone else find them useless. I had to pay privately to send my brother to rehab when he finally actually said it to me himself and was at his own will, and even that didn’t help. The first day I picked him up from rehab he went and used the same day !!!! How can someone be so selfish, evil and weak!??

[kel1]

Oh wow I can sense you are angry, and that’s not a criticism as it sounds like you’ve been through alot of worry and heartache! Sorry you’ve had to cope with all of this????.

Have you tried accessing services such as Al Anon for yourself! I think us family members get so affected and so consumed with the addict we forget ourselves!

Ok, as for substance misuse services I find it useful if we clarify what they actually do. So, you have stand alone alcohol services, drug services and “integrated” – the integrated could be the one your brother attends, however it might be useful to enquire whether or not it is a stand alone prescribing service, as they are there to deal with the “physical dependancy”. Now, that being said he would and should be offered support for psychosocial interventions, so that he can get the “encouragement” you speak about. I hope this makes some sense to you. There are other additional services such as mutual aid also in the community that can help others.

Heroin and crack are very powerful drugs and so so addictive as you’ve observed yourself! No addict wants the life they’ve subjected themselves too, although from the outside it doesn’t seem that way!

Any addiction includes, psychological, sometimes physical, behavioural and social so this on top of the initial drug, along with the mixing of drugs contributes to the difficulty in recovery! Not impossible though I agree.

Some psychological symptoms of heroin are, shame, guilt, hopelessness, poor judgement and so on!

These are just some factors! Without the physical issues, weight loss, exhaustion, constipation, persist flu like symptoms, itchiness, sleep issues, damage to organs and so much more.

Doesn’t sound so easy does it now! I think we can home in on “but the above why would they want that to continue”

It doesn’t happen straight away you see, and when addiction takes hold they are battling with the above.

Now, perhaps focus on you now, and finding ways to detach a little. People in addiction destroy themselves and others around them! You can be there still but you must take good care of yourself first. Start with some boundaries and sticking with them. That could be something as small as putting YOU first!

You could ask the service your brother is in about buddy supports etc? So long as your brother consents, that way you can be in the loop about his treatment, and perhaps then take a step back with the knowledge that these professionals are taking good care of him

They are amazing people what they do!

[tassha]

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[FrazzlePop24]

I know this is a super old thread but I felt every word of what you’ve said. My brother is the same and I’ve washed my hands of him completely. If the rest of the family want to continue being lied to, gaslit, blamed, scapegoated and spoken to like pr!cks, that’s on them. I second everything you say about the drug and alcohol service – useless af!

All I can control is prayers he gets better and that my Mum starts making sense of the fact she is an enabler.

[Author]

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