[scaredmom]

Hi, my son is an alcoholic and has been for several years now. I don’t even know how to help him and I’m not sure he can be helped. I feel I need to prepare for the possibility that I may lose my son to this terrible disease.

[lindyloo]

Hi Scaredmom, welcome to the forum, Everyone here has been affected by addictions.

Its such a worry when you find out that your loved one is addicted to alcohol or drugs, and you feel powerless to help them.

It’s only natural that we think the worst , please don’t blame yourself, as many of us do. The choice is totally theirs.

Unfortunately until they themselves decide to stop and realise that it’s taking over their lives there is little we as parents can do.

The forum homepage has help and support, as do the Icarus Trust who offer advice too.

If you click on ‘share your story ‘ and read the Theresa thread there are several of us mums with sons helping and support each other. No need to feel that you’re alone in this nightmare.

My son is 28yr and has alcohol and cocaine addictions for several years, so I know what you are going through.

When he is ready to accept support the AA fellowship have online meetings. They do a 12 step program and he could get a sponsor. The support they receive is brilliant.

Don’t give up hope, be strong, look after yourself and remind him that he’s still loved. The rest is down to him.

Always hear to chat,

Take care

Lx

[scaredmom]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. My son has so many health issues from his drinking that I live every day wondering if I’ll receive a phone call with more bad news or worse…that he’s gone. I hate watching him slowly kill himself.

[lindyloo]

Does he live with you or is he alone? Does he have a close friend or a partner who can check on him and keep you posted?

Are you able to speak to him daily- as I think they need daily contact to reassure them, and to let him know that you’re there if he needs your support.

I think you need to be taking care of yourself too, are you able to confide in someone close to you?

If not, perhaps try the Icarus trust group. Try not to think too far ahead, take each minute, hour , day at a time. Even a 5 minute meditation video on your phone, it clears the head a bit.

You may not be religious, but prayer has helped me through a lot of difficult days. Walking somewhere pretty helps me too.

Stay strong, positive thoughts and have hope

Lx

[scaredmom]

My son is married but his wife finds it hard to be supportive. She’s of the mind set that he should be able to “just quit drinking”. I do talk to him almost daily. Sometimes our phone conversations make me sad because I can tell he’s been drinking by the sound of his voice.

I do agree that prayer is all that keeps me strong. Without that, my hope would be gone at this point.

I don’t really talk to anyone about him because like so many people, I feel they might be too judgemental.

I have a really good family but my 2 daughters have nothing to do with their brother because of his drinking. I’m very close to my daughters but it’s hard to talk to them because of how they disapprove of my son.

I’m glad I found this site for a place to at least vent my frustrations and fears.

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