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It’s took me 6 years, 5 attempts and I finally walked away for good 3 weeks ago.
He was bad on coke, not that I knew that 6 years ago, I found out when I was 7 months pregnant.
The relationship has been toxic.
He started hallucinating thinking I was taking heroin (I wasn’t) he started seeing flashing lights so installed a camera in our bedroom without my knowledge. He would accuse me of cheating on him, not being where I said I was. He was paranoid constantly. He was aggressive, argumentative and violent not towards me but punched the wall, kicked the chair I was sat at and smashed our child’s toy in front of her. He’s held me down looking for a sex toy and woke me in the night for sex.
I finally walked out with my daughter and a change of clothes. We’d been counselling but that did no good after months of trying he was just as bad as he was before.
I can’t get him out the house, he’s mithering me over the phone and making me feel guilty even threatening me with suicide. I’m at my witts end. I know addiction is an illness but family and friends are saying this is domestic abuse can someone shed some light my heads up my bum here and I’m being presented with so many paths.
I’m safe and so is my daughter but I could do with a friend xx
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I’m sorry that your going through this. First things first is that he needs to get help and sort himself out on his own and you need to do your own healing away from him for the sake of you and your daughter. No one can help him but himself.
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Hello, I’m really sorry to read your story, you’ve been through so much, and walking away must have been a very hard thing to do. Husbands and fathers on coke is a very common theme on this forum, you are not alone in this and it does help to people going through the same thing. You can talk to volunteers at Drugfam who are brilliant, they’ve been there themselves and will help you in how you manage the relationship going forward. As someone else has said, you didn’t cause this and can’t fix it. He will try to make you feel guilty to get you to go back. As you’ve said, you do need to prioritise your child having a safe and happy home. Keep paying here there are loads of people who will share experiences and support you. My issues are with my grownup son, we’ve been circling the same issues for about 5 years. I hope you move on with your life and find someone who deserves you and will be a force for good in your life x
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